Quote:
|
Originally Posted by pan6467
First, blackouts are total loss in memory of a period of time, there is ABSOLUTELY NO, "I remember .... but then I forget..... then I remember and I forget...."
It's all or nothing. In other words, when you say, "I remember bits and pieces but not everything" that is not a blackout, that is selective memory, the memory is there it's just blocked. When you say, "I remember going here and I cannot remember a damned thing until now" that is a blackout.
99.9% of the people I deal with when they have blackouts are in a very serious stage of alcoholism. The next stage is tolerance break and that means you're freaking liver is done.
|
It is difficult for me to say after only just noticing it if it is a true blackout or not. It very well could be "selective memory" - I just don't have enough information at this point to determine for certain.
Unfortunately, she had never even noticed that she had "blackouts" prior to New Year's eve. I would look at it as an isolated event, but I would rather error on the cautious side. Even on New Year's Eve, she didn't notice until I pointed it out, so it wouldn't surprise me in the least if it has happened before and she hasn't noticed.
Quote:
|
Now, can binge drinkers be alcoholics? YES, in fact they are the absolute worst to treat and have the lowest recovery rates. Why? Because they refuse to see they have a problem. "I don't drink every day, Hell I only drink 1-2 times a month...... " But when you drink how much do you drink and for how long?
|
When she does drink, she drinks typically for about three to four hours at a stretch when she goes out with me, when she goes on vacation (about once a year) she drinks non-stop for a week. When she is with me, she'll typically have a total of about 6-7 1oz servings of alchohol if we are out for four hours. When she is on vacation, I couldn't even guess - from the stories she tells, it seems like she is drinking mixed drinks/shots from the moment she gets up until when she passes out...
Quote:
Also, these are the cases where noone but those closest to the person in that situation (like a spouse, very close family and friends) actually see it, everyone else would say "there's no problem there."
These "Binge drinking" types of alcoholics are also the majority of the skid row alcoholics and the ones who die from it faster than the ones who drink everyday. These are the types who refuse to see their pattern of use as anything more than "FUN", yet, they lose family, friends, jobs, etc. faster because of that "FUN" and their blackouts than those who drink everyday. These are also the types of alcoholics that tend to get very abusive, tend to have more car accidents and have far far more problems in life.
|
I'll be curious as to see if you classify her as a binge drinker after you see how often she drinks and how much she drinks...
Quote:
|
That suggests to me she sees no problem to what she does. It is also a very bad sign because how does she know she is having "fun" when she blacks out?
|
Again, I honestly believe that she had no idea that she was blacking out until very recently...
Quote:
|
Alcohol is also a depressent, and can bring up those bad feelings that it seems she has "when she cries after drinking" (paraphrased). That tells me she has some serious inner issues that may need attention.
|
Agreed, and I think most of the issue stems from self esteem related problems. I try and work with her on helping that....
Quote:
|
Now, the blackouts can also be caused by other drugs she may be on, past head trauma, or a bad liver from other issues she may have and doesn't even know it. However, in all these cases it would appear that alcohol makes her condition worse and should be stayed away from.
|
Well, I can say with near certainty she isn't on any other drugs, with the exception of the occassional over the counter headache medicine, allergy medicine, or Midol. As far as head injuries go, the only one that I can really think of happened when she was very young and to my knowledge was checked out by a doctor at the time...
Quote:
|
As for her behavior, I would venture to guess she looks to alcohol as a release of "what she truly wants" and that is "fun". A characteristic of early alcoholism, "I don't drink that often but man when I do I cut loose and am out to have a great time." However, again if the evening ends with her puking and crying, and with blackouts.... she definately has issues.
|
I'm not sure if this makes a difference or not, but she typically isn't vomiting, she just has the "spinning room" effect. She does normally spend the next few hours trying not to vomit, though...
Quote:
|
My feeling, get her to go to counselling (go with her at first if that's what it takes), have her liver tested (this would be extremely important esp. if she truly has blackouts), and then tell her that you want to go for a period of time without either of you drinking and see what happens.
|
I suppose we could arrange couseling (providing she's agreeable) but I'm not sure as to what for... Alchoholism? Just general counseling? Please clarify...
As far as going for a period of time without either of us drinking, I don't think that is going to be a problem - I imagine she'll be agreeable to that. However, and this is providing she doesn't have an issue with alchoholism, I'm looking for more of a life-long solution (a change in her behavior, a change in my attitude) than a temporary fix.
Quote:
|
Like I said I am a professional in the field, and not knowing the case only from what you wrote, I just tried to share some facts with you. If they apply maybe they can help, if they don't .... they don't. (My disclaimer, I do not know your case and am only commenting on a hypothetical that COULD be. IT very well MAY NOT be the problem. I make no claims to the validity of any advice concerning the person in question. Any advice garnered from the above was based on my own OPINION and not on any facts, pertaining to this individual, what so ever.)
|
I appreciate your expert advice very much, and I cannot thank you enough for your help. I will be interested in what your diagnosis is - I understand that it is not given with certainty, as you only know what I tell you, but it will hopefully give me at least an idea as to where she stands. If you need any additional information, please let me know.