Jesse,
As an alcohol/drug addictions counselor, I can give tell you what I think from what you have written. Take it as you want..... (My legal disclaimer is at the end.)
First, blackouts are total loss in memory of a period of time, there is ABSOLUTELY NO, "I remember .... but then I forget..... then I remember and I forget...."
It's all or nothing. In other words, when you say, "I remember bits and pieces but not everything" that is not a blackout, that is selective memory, the memory is there it's just blocked. When you say, "I remember going here and I cannot remember a damned thing until now" that is a blackout.
99.9% of the people I deal with when they have blackouts are in a very serious stage of alcoholism. The next stage is tolerance break and that means you're freaking liver is done.
Now, can binge drinkers be alcoholics? YES, in fact they are the absolute worst to treat and have the lowest recovery rates. Why? Because they refuse to see they have a problem. "I don't drink every day, Hell I only drink 1-2 times a month...... " But when you drink how much do you drink and for how long?
Also, these are the cases where noone but those closest to the person in that situation (like a spouse, very close family and friends) actually see it, everyone else would say "there's no problem there."
These "Binge drinking" types of alcoholics are also the majority of the skid row alcoholics and the ones who die from it faster than the ones who drink everyday. These are the types who refuse to see their pattern of use as anything more than "FUN", yet, they lose family, friends, jobs, etc. faster because of that "FUN" and their blackouts than those who drink everyday. These are also the types of alcoholics that tend to get very abusive, tend to have more car accidents and have far far more problems in life.
Also, given that you state:
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She seems to think that it will automatically be much more fun if alchohol is involved, and that there aren't any consequences if she has been drinking.
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That suggests to me she sees no problem to what she does. It is also a very bad sign because how does she know she is having "fun" when she blacks out?
Alcohol is also a depressent, and can bring up those bad feelings that it seems she has "when she cries after drinking" (paraphrased). That tells me she has some serious inner issues that may need attention.
Now, the blackouts can also be caused by other drugs she may be on, past head trauma, or a bad liver from other issues she may have and doesn't even know it. However, in all these cases it would appear that alcohol makes her condition worse and should be stayed away from.
As for her behavior, I would venture to guess she looks to alcohol as a release of "what she truly wants" and that is "fun". A characteristic of early alcoholism, "I don't drink that often but man when I do I cut loose and am out to have a great time." However, again if the evening ends with her puking and crying, and with blackouts.... she definately has issues.
My feeling, get her to go to counselling (go with her at first if that's what it takes), have her liver tested (this would be extremely important esp. if she truly has blackouts), and then tell her that you want to go for a period of time without either of you drinking and see what happens.
Like I said I am a professional in the field, and not knowing the case only from what you wrote, I just tried to share some facts with you. If they apply maybe they can help, if they don't .... they don't. (My disclaimer, I do not know your case and am only commenting on a hypothetical that COULD be. IT very well MAY NOT be the problem. I make no claims to the validity of any advice concerning the person in question. Any advice garnered from the above was based on my own OPINION and not on any facts, pertaining to this individual, what so ever.)