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Perhaps you are not being honest with yourself??
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Maybe not, and I've considered that too. However, I don't know if things will even go anywhere with my friend. I really would just like to maintain the friendship we've had, at least for a while -- and I would put some serious thought into whether or not I would even take it to the next level.
As it stands right now, nothing will probably happen with Sarah. Just my guess about feelings, sensitivity to everything, circumstances, etc. Considering I'm four hours away and at grad school, I will probably invest my time closer to me. Ironic, to some degree, that Sarah might always remain a "what if" even after all of this -- but I was willing to accept that anyway.