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Originally Posted by jusolson00
... As for your end of the deal, I do not think you are being the asshole or stick in the mud. You are simply looking out for her well being. If guys are indeed grapping her and making lude comments then you have every right to step in and say something. It doesnt sound as she has been unfaithful or given you much reason that she would be, so my advice to you would to try to be a bit more trusting, but keep one eye open so to speak when she's out and involved with alcohol. Its a shitty feeling no doubt, but if she can realize what her behavior is doing to you and make changes to help, then you both will come out closer and better off.
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This is what I struggle with - I don't think I can be objective enough to really rely on my decision at all. I am not sure if I am being protective of her, overprovtective/overbearing, or just a downright jealous asshole.
I know this sounds cliche, but I trust her - I don't trust the other guys. In any normal situation I'd trust her 100%, but with alchohol involved one can never know for certain. However, my main concern has nothing to do with my trust in her - it has to do with my concern for her well-being. I feel like giving guys the wrong idea about her just compounds the chances that something bad may befall her. A real eye opener for me is when a girl was raped and killed locally - the rapist/murderer picked her up from a bar that we frequent. There have been several scandals as of late regarding the bars around town - including one where a bar owner would slip young ladies drugs and videotape himself raping them. I knew three of the girls that he did this to, and it isn't like we live in a high crime city.
As far as her being unfaithful to me, with the exception of a couple of grey areas, it is true that I should trust her very much. One of the grey areas that I speak of involved her "being kissed" by some guy while she was in Cancun. As the story goes, she was at a bar in Cancun and one of the bartenders was going around pouring shots of tequilla into girls' mouths and kissing them afterward. Apparently, she would have prevented him from kissing her but "she was laughing too hard and suddenly the guy just shoved his tongue down her throat." I'm not so nieve to actually believe this - I imagine that she was drunk, saw what he was doing, and did nothing to prevent it, thinking it wouldn't be a big deal. I do have to commend her on being honest with me, though - I am not one to stand for cheating. I suppose in my mind I justified it to myself by thinking that although any dope could see that the entire thing wasn't true, he was just an employee of the club she was at. I know that I should be questioning if even that is true, but it is really the only way I could continue to stay with her, and I'm sure that if we do end up getting married someday that we'll have much larger hurdles to get through than her getting kissed by some guy years ago.
Wow, I'm beginning to ramble....
I look forward to more replies
