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Originally Posted by filtherton
Befriending someone because you want to fuck them isn't something that nice guys do. Get rid of the idea that you somehow deserve anything for being a "nice guy". Ladder theory is bullshit. You just need to ask her if she wants to be more than friends. If she says yes, good for you. If she says no, stop pretending to be "nice" to get laid, you aren't going to get laid. Admit to yourself that you only befriended this young lady because you wanted to get in her pants. Then stop pretending to be her friend until you can actually be her friend, instead of someone who is pretending to be her friend to get laid. If you can't do that, than just do yourself a favor and forget about her.
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Guys like you who obviously do this "nice guy to get laid thing" make me sick. I learned a few years ago that being nice to someone when you are able to be nice is a good thing and that only good things can come out of it. Im not being nice to her because I want to get laid. Im past that whole I need to get laid stage and want something more out of a relationship. If I wanted to get laid I would of done it with any of the 4 girls who were all over me at this years new years party I was at. Even to the point where 2 of them asked me to drive them to their hotel and then when we got there asked me if I wanted to party in their room and I asked how many people were going to be there and they said only us I still declined.
Meaningless sex is the last thing I want right now. I want a relationship with someone who cares for me the way that I care about them. The problem in the past is that Ive been burned so many times by being nice. They only wanted to be with me because I would do things for them. Being a gentlemen makes me feel good when the other person appriciates it. Being burned because of it hurts a lot because you put time and effort into something hoping for a relationship and instead got screwed over.
I see this girl as someone that I can build a relationship on, but in the last few days Ive thought it over and even though my feelings for her have not changed I highly doubt that things will happen between us. It hurts me a lot to come to this conclusion because I care deeply about her. Ive decided that I should try and distance myself from her a bit. Not move away from her totally, I still value the relationship that we have as good friends and still want her in my life anyway that I can, but I think it would be best if I didnt talk to her everyday and start to look at other girls for a relationship.
Not being able to put my mind at rest when I think about her is hard. I cant keep doing this to myself. She has a lot on her plate with school, family, and just life in general and right now for me to tell her how I feel would not be fair to her and possibly me. If she does, or had feelings for me in the past but is overwhelmed with her daily life and doesnt think that she can handle a relationship with anyone at the moment that might distort her actual view on how she feels about me because she has other things on her mind.
She is very special to me and dear to my heart, but I cant keep putting myself in a hole when I think about her and what might and might not happen if I do disclose my feelings for her. So Ill give it a few weeks. Ill see if maybe I can find another girl who has the same characteristics as she does or similar since that is what Im looking for in a relationship. Maybe things will turn out for the best. But then again who knows. Im not going to get anywhere by doing nothing. If all else fails Ill tell her how I feel sometime in the next few weeks and see what she says. Hopefully she feels the same way, if not then I at least tried.
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