Thanks for the comments thus far. It sucks, it hurts, and I miss her -- and I was the one who made the decision. Her side has merit, too, I know; I realize that it is tough to know that your SO has doubts at times and I made the "mistake" of being honest when asked about Sarah. I wouldn't take back that honesty, because integrity is very important to me, but I know that that contributed greatly to our problems. Bummer of a deal, and I feel crummy about the timing (Christmas and holidays) and the changing of our plans, in addition to the void I feel. Damn.
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it is sometimes a no win situation
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Very true...I felt like I was in between a rock and a hard place so much of the time, when really I just wanted to be nice and take care of two people who were important to me. I knew who I was loyal to -- hanging out or going to a company dance would not have changed that.