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I think one of the reasons you strugle with it is because you think there is a reason for depression. Depression isn't a logical step by step path that if you don't have X and need Z then you are depressed. It is a chemical imbalance biologically, and a disorder in the cognitive sense. Try and realize that just like being overweight, shy, sarcastic, or any other normally considered negative trait you can change it. It may be hard, but it's doable.
Redefine your problem, it has nothing to do with materials or who loves you or respects you (or more accurately it doesn't have to have anything to do with those things.) Disorders or emotional problems can't be thought of in the normal way we solve problems. Probably because we are too biased to really look inside ourselves.
Ultimately you will realize that we choose to think and feel the way we do. I've had my own problems and have been able to realize in the midst of a rage, or the depths of a depression that I'm choosing to feel this way, and the funny thing is, half the time I purposefully choose to continue acting that way. It's an odd sort of realization, one that has helped me grow a lot.
Although I don't think that choose is the right word, because it's not another reason to hate yourself since youre "choosing" to behave that way. That's not what I mean. Hmm and that's all I have to say right now. I'm still developing. I hope this patchwork has helped in some way.
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