Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - Criticism of only child households

raeanna74 · 12-31-2005, 08:59 AM

It's interesting this thread should be revived after we just visited all of hubby's family that we've not seen in years. Almost all his cousins have kids and one even had 3 kids only 5 4 years apart. The one cousin started having kids when she was 17. He has one cousin yet that's simply more ambitious career wise and unattached so consquently hasn't gotten to the having kids stage yet.

I was asked this question quite a few times while at the family gathering. This time my response was that we were done having kids. Eyebrows were raised and often "done" was echoed. At which I replied, "I got fixed". The response after that was much better than it has been from ANYONE before. They did not try to convince me to have another kid since they'd be wasting their breath. They simply turned their attention to what our plans were for our daughter. They had no argument and they were able to simply show an interest in our daughter's wellbeing. I think that may have been the misdirected intention of the other comments previously. I'm glad I got fixed for many reasons.

On comment I've seen here or heard often is a concern with regards to a single child learning to be selfish. Our daughter has not had the chance to be selfish. She constantly has other kids in her home who play with many of her toys. We've given her the right to keep her room and any of the toys in her room to herself. The kids are not allowed in her room without HER permission. YET she still lets most of the come in her room. She does not let the toddler come in but her reasoning is that she has small toys that the little girl would choke on. I have keep a careful eye on my daughter because she OFTEN will try to GIVE AWAY toys. She's offered many things to other kids. Her reasoning usually is that she doesn't play with them anymore or often. As long as the toy does not have sentimental value to me or is not very expensive then I allow the gifting. I think this will help her learn to be a sharing giving person.

12-31-2005, 08:59 AM	#41 (permalink)
raeanna74 I'm not a blonde! I'm knot! I'm knot! I'm knot! Location: Upper Michigan	It's interesting this thread should be revived after we just visited all of hubby's family that we've not seen in years. Almost all his cousins have kids and one even had 3 kids only 5 4 years apart. The one cousin started having kids when she was 17. He has one cousin yet that's simply more ambitious career wise and unattached so consquently hasn't gotten to the having kids stage yet. I was asked this question quite a few times while at the family gathering. This time my response was that we were done having kids. Eyebrows were raised and often "done" was echoed. At which I replied, "I got fixed". The response after that was much better than it has been from ANYONE before. They did not try to convince me to have another kid since they'd be wasting their breath. They simply turned their attention to what our plans were for our daughter. They had no argument and they were able to simply show an interest in our daughter's wellbeing. I think that may have been the misdirected intention of the other comments previously. I'm glad I got fixed for many reasons. On comment I've seen here or heard often is a concern with regards to a single child learning to be selfish. Our daughter has not had the chance to be selfish. She constantly has other kids in her home who play with many of her toys. We've given her the right to keep her room and any of the toys in her room to herself. The kids are not allowed in her room without HER permission. YET she still lets most of the come in her room. She does not let the toddler come in but her reasoning is that she has small toys that the little girl would choke on. I have keep a careful eye on my daughter because she OFTEN will try to GIVE AWAY toys. She's offered many things to other kids. Her reasoning usually is that she doesn't play with them anymore or often. As long as the toy does not have sentimental value to me or is not very expensive then I allow the gifting. I think this will help her learn to be a sharing giving person. __________________ "Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama My Karma just ran over your Dogma.