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Aardvark · 12-30-2005, 03:12 PM

The poster whom flamingdog quoted has a point, yet its laced with a few too many straw dog arguments for me. The most obvious one was this -

"I don’t want my kid to lose hours and days in front of a video screen like I have. I want her to enjoy gaming as any other pastime, but I want it placed in its proper context."

Makes me wonder how he intends to convey the many years of his experience, coupled with the hindsight of his personal regret, and his current perspective of gaming to his daughter... by simply withholding her access. It sets up a parent-child dynamic of 'Do as I say, not as I do.' While I never found that dynamic to be effective with my son, I wish that poster well.

My son didn't become interested in video games until he was about five, just prior to entering the first grade. Then again, there were no older siblings to create that interest sooner. It became important to him because knowledge of video games is an inherent part of socializing among 'the guys' in the school yard. And while adults may not see a bunch of five, six and seven year olds as 'the guys,' their socializing patterns, in many ways, are no different than that of 'the guys' around the water cooler at the office, talking about sports. The older guys who can cite the latest statistics in football around the water cooler are given the same kind of undivided attention as the younger guys who can cite the hidden locations of energy and life 'ups' in video games.

While men rarely participate, personally, in the sports they talk about, the boys do. As such, in addition to having knowledge of a video game, a seven year old can earn distinction among his peers by his ability to win the game. There is reverence given to those few who manage to acquire the latest, hottest game... and beat it.

Another part of what goes on in the school yard is play-acting the part of one of the cool characters from a fighting game. In emulating their heroes (years ago, at least) the yard duty teachers saw the kids as being hostile and aggressively fighting with each other, and broke it up. What they actually broke up was nothing of the sort, despite the occasional bruises.

That's why those little guys are so adamant about video games. Its what makes them want to spend so much time to beat the games they play. In their world, its what allows them to fit in; its what gives them a standing among their peers. Its often the basis on which friendships start and what opens the doors to social circles.

Should kids play videogames? I think so. Not letting them play may soothe a parent's sense of propriety, or guilt, but it limits their kid's ability to interact in the social structure of their society.

My way of dealing with it was to tell my son that if he wanted to participate, he'd have to earn it. It took him five months of saving his allowance to buy his first console. He was six when he bought it - used, at a discount. Yup, he had rules for the weekdays: video games were okay until dinner. After that it was schoolwork. After that it was anything other than electronics until bedtime; reading, legos, whatever. On weekends he could do whatever he wanted, when we were home.

Actually, I spent the first year or two playing those games with him. LOL, I wanted to understand what he and his friends were always talking about! I also wanted to be able to talk with my son, so I could understand and appreciate his ongoing accomplishments and setbacks in that arena. He's currently in his second year in college doing very well. He acquired a lot of games over the years and his video consoles and all those games are still in his room... collecting dust.

As many posters mentioned, and I agree, its about moderation. Yet to understand what moderation really means, I think a child needs to be guided through the experience. Denying them access or imposing rules without ever letting them experience the downside of excessive gaming, and its obvious consequences, won't teach them how to recognize it in themselves and learn to moderate it on their own.

12-30-2005, 03:12 PM	#44 (permalink)
Aardvark Upright	The poster whom flamingdog quoted has a point, yet its laced with a few too many straw dog arguments for me. The most obvious one was this - "I don’t want my kid to lose hours and days in front of a video screen like I have. I want her to enjoy gaming as any other pastime, but I want it placed in its proper context." Makes me wonder how he intends to convey the many years of his experience, coupled with the hindsight of his personal regret, and his current perspective of gaming to his daughter... by simply withholding her access. It sets up a parent-child dynamic of 'Do as I say, not as I do.' While I never found that dynamic to be effective with my son, I wish that poster well. My son didn't become interested in video games until he was about five, just prior to entering the first grade. Then again, there were no older siblings to create that interest sooner. It became important to him because knowledge of video games is an inherent part of socializing among 'the guys' in the school yard. And while adults may not see a bunch of five, six and seven year olds as 'the guys,' their socializing patterns, in many ways, are no different than that of 'the guys' around the water cooler at the office, talking about sports. The older guys who can cite the latest statistics in football around the water cooler are given the same kind of undivided attention as the younger guys who can cite the hidden locations of energy and life 'ups' in video games. While men rarely participate, personally, in the sports they talk about, the boys do. As such, in addition to having knowledge of a video game, a seven year old can earn distinction among his peers by his ability to win the game. There is reverence given to those few who manage to acquire the latest, hottest game... and beat it. Another part of what goes on in the school yard is play-acting the part of one of the cool characters from a fighting game. In emulating their heroes (years ago, at least) the yard duty teachers saw the kids as being hostile and aggressively fighting with each other, and broke it up. What they actually broke up was nothing of the sort, despite the occasional bruises. That's why those little guys are so adamant about video games. Its what makes them want to spend so much time to beat the games they play. In their world, its what allows them to fit in; its what gives them a standing among their peers. Its often the basis on which friendships start and what opens the doors to social circles. Should kids play videogames? I think so. Not letting them play may soothe a parent's sense of propriety, or guilt, but it limits their kid's ability to interact in the social structure of their society. My way of dealing with it was to tell my son that if he wanted to participate, he'd have to earn it. It took him five months of saving his allowance to buy his first console. He was six when he bought it - used, at a discount. Yup, he had rules for the weekdays: video games were okay until dinner. After that it was schoolwork. After that it was anything other than electronics until bedtime; reading, legos, whatever. On weekends he could do whatever he wanted, when we were home. Actually, I spent the first year or two playing those games with him. LOL, I wanted to understand what he and his friends were always talking about! I also wanted to be able to talk with my son, so I could understand and appreciate his ongoing accomplishments and setbacks in that arena. He's currently in his second year in college doing very well. He acquired a lot of games over the years and his video consoles and all those games are still in his room... collecting dust. As many posters mentioned, and I agree, its about moderation. Yet to understand what moderation really means, I think a child needs to be guided through the experience. Denying them access or imposing rules without ever letting them experience the downside of excessive gaming, and its obvious consequences, won't teach them how to recognize it in themselves and learn to moderate it on their own.