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So long as you aren't fucking on the dining room table with the neighbours, the kids aren't going to even begin to figure out anything is "odd" until they are maybe 8 or 9, IMO. At that point, there must be a decision made, because she won't be able to keep it from them forever. She'll either give up the "lifestyle" or be pretty open about, explaining to the kids that this is the way she lives her life, there's nothing wrong with it, and to respect the way things are.
Our daughter is 1, we're not begining to be concerned about such things.
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Si vis pacem parabellum.
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