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Lemme preface my post by saying that it is your life and you can do anything you want with it... but you asked for opinions... so you are gonna get them. Mine won't be nice. I have read most of them... most of them seem to pull punches. Most of them seem to attempt some civility... mine won't. Nothing get's me going more than cheaters and liers. And that is what you are. A lier. Your wrong because you are lying. Every second that you don't tell her what you are doing is a lie. Some people above think that it's okay to lie and cheat and destory the life of someone important to you, but I do not. You see... I've been on the recieving end of it. It took 2 years to trust again. Pretty shitty if you ask me.
From your post you seem to express some regret. Is this the case? Do you regret doing the things you have done? If that is the case, then stop doing it. Quite simple, really. Tell her about it, and ask her forgivness. You probably won't get it, but you will at least feel better about it.
I understand the desire to "look to other fields" when you are married. Manogomy is a difficult thing, but that is the promise you made. Either live up to your vows or get the fuck out. We all have a brain with a rational capacity to overpower our base instincts. That is one of the things that makes us human. To DECIDED upon a course of action instead of ACT instinctively. To say that you can't control yourself or that you want to stop but can, is total bullshit. You either do or your don't.
Be a man, live up to the promise you made her and stop cheating. That's all I got to say. Cut and dry.
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Every passing hour brings the Solar System forty-three thousand miles closer to Globular Cluster M13 in Hercules — and still there are some misfits who insist that there is no such thing as progress.
Kurt Vonnegut - Sirens of Titan
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