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I drive an old (no traction or stability control) Mercedes in the snow all the time, which is RWD. I don't have any problems like you're describing. It's much better with snow tires, but still isn't dangerous without them.
As for weight in the back, it's generally a good thing if you're losing rear traction. You're not trying to corner at significant speeds, so weight distribution is not very important. Having had experience with an old 318i (though not in the snow), the rear springs tend to bottom out very easily. It's possible that all the weight you put in the car took up most of your suspension travel. Hitting bumps in the road while in that state could easily cause the rear end to come around.
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