Ah Ha! see I was appeal to him by my sex driven hormones...so there wasn't much sentimental feeling there, and that is why this is a "gift" and not a relationship.And I guess I have lots more to learn about sex -_-. Its just that I feel wierd because I always though that's what sex is all about, feeling good which is the orgasm(I kind of thought orgasm was a natural result of sex). Now I kind of feel ignorant >.<.
My first time was to the one I really felt deeply for and it was undefinable but we're over and the guy right now is just the second guy I've been with , before that I've never tried masterbating which is probably why too, I should learn more about myself before concerning about why I cant recieve get what I want from someone else when I dont even know what I want, wow! all of a sudden I feel selfish...
ahaah alright!Not only have I came to many realization, but also learn more about myself (or atleast will be), this is very educational and I have you guys to thanks

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