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To echo what a couple of others said, I was never able to have an orgasm with a partner until I learned how by myself using a vibrator. You might want to try this both by yourself and use one as part of your foreplay.
Also, experiment, get the mood right, try games and fantasies. Everyone is different; bondage works wonders for me, but does nothing for Grace.
And you know what? It's ok not to have an orgasm. They're nice, sure, but not necessary. Sex is about a lot more than that. Enjoy the sensuality, the closeness it brings without expecting more. There's nothing wrong with just enjoying the other things that sex brings.
Most of all, don't make it into a goal oriented activity, like it's a game where you win if you have an orgasm and lose if you don't. It's about connecting with someone else in a way that you can't do with any other activity, a physical, emotional, and for many, spiritual connection. Treat it like dancing, like an activity you engage in because it's fun by itself, and stop worrying about whether you win or not. It's not a competition.
Gilda
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I'm against ending blackness. I believe that everyone has a right to be black, it's a choice, and I support that.
~Steven Colbert
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