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In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity
from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained
through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T)

We are trying to give our employees more S.H.I.T than anyone else. If
you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T on the course, please
see your supervisor. You will be immediately placed at the top of the
S.H.I.T list, and our supervisors are especially skilled at seeing you
get all the S. H. I. T. you can handle.

Employees who don't take their S. H. I.T. will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL
EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T).

Those who fail to take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T seriously will have to go to
EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T.S.H.I.T).

Since our supervisors took S.H.I.T before they were promoted, they don't
have to do S.H.I.T anymore, and are all full of S.H.I.T already. If you
are full of S.H.I.T, you may be interested in a job teaching others. We can
add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LIST of LEADERS (B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T).

For employees who are intending to pursue a career in management and
consulting, we will refer you to the department of MANAGERIAL
OPERATIONAL RESEARCH EDUCATION (M.O.R.E.S.H.I.T). This course emphasizes how
to manage M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T

If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF
TEACHING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T.S..H.I.T).

Thank you,

BOSS IN GENERAL, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (B.I.G.S.H.I.T)




cc:
The Director Under the Main Bureau of Super High Intensity Training.
(The D.U.M.B.S.H.I.T).