|
Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at amonkie's Christmas party. It was ngdawg who spiked the punch with too much Champagne. I can't help it if I drank 4 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like cinnamon.
I thought it was funny when I put paddyjoe's sweater on my head and danced the Lambada on the ottoman while singing `Hot Stuff'. I didn't mean to break amonkie's DVD player and don't know why amonkie would sue me for indecent exposure.
I don't remember calling Charlatan's wife a pretty cow---even though she looked like one with blue eye shadow and orange lipstick!
And when I threw up on ShaniFaye's husband's penis, it was only because I ate too much of that trifle.
After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my Porsche through my neighbor's bedroom. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a heavy ferret and have me arrested for breaking and entering!
So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all fast and ugly. And I'm really not to blame for any of this old stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!
Sincerely and smelly yours,
onesnowyowl (Really a nice girl!)
P.S. It's only 22 bucks!
__________________
If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau
|