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Originally Posted by -Ever-
Hey guys. Just a new update since you've proven that you actually care :')
Went to Disneyland with her, her friend, and her friend's boyfriend this weekend. I didn't think it was right to go but I said F-it and chose to. Wound up having a good time all in all. On the drive back I decided to ask how she felt about completely breaking off for a while instead of lingering here at 50%. My main reason is that if we linger here too long, we eventually won't want to get back together because we'll be so used to this half-way relationship that we might assume that's how it has always been- cold, uneventful, boring.. I said that if we do want to get back together sometime, it should be a full 100% recreated relationship, re-falling back in love, and the only way this could happen is by completely separating and either realizing we do indeed need/want eachother or we do indeed want to move on.
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By you even going to Disneyland with her, you open the door to let her have her way with you --that is half assing it. Being with you without the need to commit to you. The longer you let her keep you in the gray, she'll keep you in the gray cause it requires no engagement on her behalf --but you, if you allow her, you'd probably commit yourself to her. One way street...ain't gonna work.. So it seems the better thing for now is to cut off completely and if you both decide you want to be together, it better be at 100%, otherwise it's just another half-assed attempt. The only thing that would suck if the only reason she says no to being with you now is the need to test the waters elsewhere, which again, puts you into the backup boyfriend category....
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Originally Posted by -Ever-
Other reasons include me constantly wondering what she's doing at night and in the future her probably wondering the same thing for me. We aren't together, but we aren't broken up, but where is the line drawn? She still introduces me as her boyfriend but I can't ask what exactly she's been doing the past three evenings and with who (in a non-pestering kind of way). This drives me nuts and I just can't deal with it. I'd just assume bite the bullet and break off and when I wonder what she's doing, I can sanely remind myself that it's none of my damn business instead of having wild thoughts run through my mind for this 50% girlfriend of mine. Lol, I know, we've gotten ourselves in quite the rut.
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If she introduces you as her boyfriend and seems to be acting as such, with the affection and all, you have every right to pester her about what she's been up to the past three days. However, if you guys are broken up, then be broken up.. Doing the gray thing will get old real fast --especially for you on the emotional side.
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Originally Posted by -Ever-
I also brought up that I'm going to be going through quite a lot of changes myself the next few months. This 'situation' has really inspired me to re-prioritize my schooling, arts, and friends, and I have a lot of mini-goals set up that will be introducing me to somwhat new lifestyles and new people. I wasn't saying this in any kind of threatening way. Instead, I was just addressing my side of the story and wanted to make sure she knew that there's a decent chance I might be somewhat different, for good or bad in relation to her, if she indeed does want to get back together in the future.
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At least some positives came out of this situation right?
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Originally Posted by -Ever-
So anyhow, our talk was cut short when we arrived at home and her needing to attend "stuff" for the evening, although we decided to continue our talk later. I think we both know what is next though. I'm preparing myself for a full on ceassation of communication and reliance between the two of us. Of course I'll treat her like a friend if she needs me, but if she needs a ride, call someone else. I need a vent, I'll call someone else. When she's lonely, don't call me. This is what life is like without eachother and do we like it or not...?
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It's good that you set these limits beforehand. Black and white is usually more favorable for situations such as these where emotions can alter a decision so easily. Don't be her emotional backup, you are worth more than that. Be your own person, let her come into her own. In order for you to separate, you need to let yourself untangle the emotional attachment.
Just keep reminding yourself you don't need to be hanging out in the gray, that there may be someone out there who's willing to be with you at the 100% that you so deserve.