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I have no problem with open relationships if both people know what the score is. However, you aren't in one. If you choose not to live up to the agreement you made with your wife, then you should tell her that and divorce. It's that simple. Don't tell her because it will assauge your guilt, tell her so she doesn't spend years trying to figure out how she failed. As your finances get raped, think of it as a life lesson. I have no sympathy for cheaters, and someone able to do something so cold to another person and refuse to own up to it can't be trusted.
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"The question isn't who is going to let me, it's who is going to stop me." (Ayn Rand)
"The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers." (M. Scott Peck)
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