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keyshawn · 12-04-2005, 09:12 AM

Match000, mantus, and the other contributors: Thanks for sharing your experiences !

Right now, I feel like I'm in the same shoes as match000, except both of us are college freshman. And I'm confused as hell as for how to approach my situation... [to be honest, I haven't had too many relationships].

I'm not sure if I actually waited too long for mine, which I bit regret, but I'm trying to walk a fine line of continuing this relationship and keeping myself open for other opportunities

Sorry, not to sidetrack the thread, I just wanted to chime in on my thoughts: I have a somewhat similar experience in my college time so far (after one quarter, as a freshman).

Her some of my experiences so far. I'm not sure how much/what type of experiences/past relationships she's had.
Neither of us have probed each other on these issues of past relationships. I haven't directly put her on the spot [in terms of asking her about the level of commitment to the relationship] but I'm not sure if I should have already or not, since I've known her for about 10 weeks now. She's given me mixed responses to any sort of moves I make.
A couple times I've attempted to put my arm around her and she won't reciprocate but she doesn't communicate (vocally or body language) to remove it. However, sometimes when I've did this, her best friend (also a girl and a friend of mine as well) is with us too, and they almost always hold hands together, although I'm pretty sure it's just done in a mutual friend, playful fashion (that is, I don't believe neither of them are attracted to their sex). Also, We're all in a group of friends of about 6 girls, and one other guy. I asked the other guy about if it was obvious that I've made moves on her and showed my interest. He said it wasn't obvious and actually didn't know that I liked her (although I think that maybe because he has not been there some of the time I've made moves.
Other moves that I've made are like sitting next to her when watching a movie or TV when the group is together (although I don't do this all the time) or just flirting with her during conversations (which often, is actually more successful in reciprocation than physical moves).
Anyways, I did (now in retrospect) have the chance to probably make a move. About a month, we watched a movie together (actually the only time we've did alone) (all the other times, it's a group viewing). We watched Crash, while I never put my arm around her, we snuggled near each other and after, slept remaining in the same position . No moves, by either of us, were made....(I suppose I should have made one then, in hindsight).
Generally, we hang out together (in the group) about a few days a week. Now, it's winter break for us, the entire month of December, and I don't know how to approach the relationship when we come back in january.

I know I totally rambled on this, right now, I'm just trying to collect all of my thoughts and wonder where I should go from here....

Advice for match000:
Anyways, in one of my past few relationships: at the time, summertime, in the fall i'd be a h.s. senior, she'd be a h.s. frosh. She totally fell for me, so I had no problems with working for that. However, I found out from our mutual friends that this was her first ever relationship of any sort, and she had no idea of how to go. Further, her parents were a bit protective. As soon as the school year began, we driftly off in our own directions very quickly.
What I took from this limited experience, is that such a gap of age [senior-frosh] actually really makes a difference, given how rapidly teenagers and young adults can mature in a matter of a year or two. Even though she (and probably your female as well) was mature for her age, there were still some intangibles (can't really put my finger of what exactly) that, I'd noticed very subtle things that display the different levels of maturity between us. As much as I would have liked to relationship the succeed; I soon realized, that, at this time, a real relationship or dating really wouldn't work, given the maturity differences between us two. Of course, I had a brief period of 'what if the relationship would work later on...' and I'd say don't worry about any of the 'what ifs.' You might miss another opportunity that would come up....

Good luck to each of us, and thanks again to everyone's advice who have been down the paths that match000 and I are walking down right down right now.

catcha back on the flipside,
will.

12-04-2005, 09:12 AM	#64 (permalink)
keyshawn Psycho	Match000, mantus, and the other contributors: Thanks for sharing your experiences ! Right now, I feel like I'm in the same shoes as match000, except both of us are college freshman. And I'm confused as hell as for how to approach my situation... [to be honest, I haven't had too many relationships]. I'm not sure if I actually waited too long for mine, which I bit regret, but I'm trying to walk a fine line of continuing this relationship and keeping myself open for other opportunities Sorry, not to sidetrack the thread, I just wanted to chime in on my thoughts: I have a somewhat similar experience in my college time so far (after one quarter, as a freshman). Her some of my experiences so far. I'm not sure how much/what type of experiences/past relationships she's had. Neither of us have probed each other on these issues of past relationships. I haven't directly put her on the spot [in terms of asking her about the level of commitment to the relationship] but I'm not sure if I should have already or not, since I've known her for about 10 weeks now. She's given me mixed responses to any sort of moves I make. A couple times I've attempted to put my arm around her and she won't reciprocate but she doesn't communicate (vocally or body language) to remove it. However, sometimes when I've did this, her best friend (also a girl and a friend of mine as well) is with us too, and they almost always hold hands together, although I'm pretty sure it's just done in a mutual friend, playful fashion (that is, I don't believe neither of them are attracted to their sex). Also, We're all in a group of friends of about 6 girls, and one other guy. I asked the other guy about if it was obvious that I've made moves on her and showed my interest. He said it wasn't obvious and actually didn't know that I liked her (although I think that maybe because he has not been there some of the time I've made moves. Other moves that I've made are like sitting next to her when watching a movie or TV when the group is together (although I don't do this all the time) or just flirting with her during conversations (which often, is actually more successful in reciprocation than physical moves). Anyways, I did (now in retrospect) have the chance to probably make a move. About a month, we watched a movie together (actually the only time we've did alone) (all the other times, it's a group viewing). We watched Crash, while I never put my arm around her, we snuggled near each other and after, slept remaining in the same position . No moves, by either of us, were made....(I suppose I should have made one then, in hindsight). Generally, we hang out together (in the group) about a few days a week. Now, it's winter break for us, the entire month of December, and I don't know how to approach the relationship when we come back in january. I know I totally rambled on this, right now, I'm just trying to collect all of my thoughts and wonder where I should go from here.... Advice for match000: Anyways, in one of my past few relationships: at the time, summertime, in the fall i'd be a h.s. senior, she'd be a h.s. frosh. She totally fell for me, so I had no problems with working for that. However, I found out from our mutual friends that this was her first ever relationship of any sort, and she had no idea of how to go. Further, her parents were a bit protective. As soon as the school year began, we driftly off in our own directions very quickly. What I took from this limited experience, is that such a gap of age [senior-frosh] actually really makes a difference, given how rapidly teenagers and young adults can mature in a matter of a year or two. Even though she (and probably your female as well) was mature for her age, there were still some intangibles (can't really put my finger of what exactly) that, I'd noticed very subtle things that display the different levels of maturity between us. As much as I would have liked to relationship the succeed; I soon realized, that, at this time, a real relationship or dating really wouldn't work, given the maturity differences between us two. Of course, I had a brief period of 'what if the relationship would work later on...' and I'd say don't worry about any of the 'what ifs.' You might miss another opportunity that would come up.... Good luck to each of us, and thanks again to everyone's advice who have been down the paths that match000 and I are walking down right down right now. catcha back on the flipside, will. __________________ currently reading: currently playing : Last edited by keyshawn; 12-04-2005 at 09:32 AM.. Reason: clarification, will edit more later.