PS
IBlade, Mantus, a few others were right about one thing: I got waay too tunnel-visioned.
And yeah, IBlade was also right: I should have just put her down for a sec, gone out with a few other girls (which I could have done actually) and gotten my perspective back in wack.
And yeah, I don't need to ask her what I did wrong. I know now what I did wrong. I'm gonna have to quote David Deangelo, hope he doesn't mind; he sent this out on his free email list.
I did every one of these things, and I think these pretty much explain why I am where I am. Not like I care, I am too good for her anyways
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by David DeAngelo
So, let's take a few minutes and talk about the
issues and what CAUSES them.
Here are some of the "root causes", and how I
see them...
1) Having no other options.
If you're sitting at the phone with ONE phone
number in your hand, and you haven't been out on a
date in a long time, and you are feeling
DESPERATE, you're probably going to get VERY
nervous.
When you have no other options, the single one
in front of you becomes VERY valuable.
Translation: You want it TOO badly.
This AUTOMATICALLY triggers your emotional
system, because at some level you realize that if
you screw this up, it's all over. And you know
that it's all going to happen in just a few
SECONDS.
The pressure is too much!
|
I actually DID have other options. My mistake was that I intentionally made her my only option. Huuuuge mistake.
However, since I know I did have other options, I wasn't really too nervous on the phone though.
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by David DeAngelo
2) Putting too much importance on a single girl.
Now, if you have a girl that you've been dating
for six months, and you've decided that she's one
in a million, it makes sense to put a lot of
importance on your relationship with her.
But, if you don't know a girl very well, or you
haven't even dated her at all, then you are only
setting yourself up for major disappointment by
putting too much importance on ANY girl.
3) Thinking you need to IMPRESS her.
This is a HUGE issue.
Most men "subconsciously" behave and
communicate like they're trying to IMPRESS the
woman of their desires.
When you think about this, it only makes
sense... of course you'd want to impress the woman
you like... so she'll think you're a cool guy and
want to be with you.
But have you ever thought for a moment how an
interesting, attractive woman sees it when a guy
is TRYING to IMPRESS her?
Well, here's the INSTANT and SUBCONSCIOUS
response that women have:
"He's trying too hard. There's something wrong.
This guy must have something he's trying to
hide... and he must be pretty insecure."
In other words, the INSTANT you do something or
say something that is an obvious attempt at
impressing a woman, her radar system screams:
"WUSSY!"
4) Having expectations and being attached to them.
You might think of this one as a variation of
"wanting it too much"... only slightly different.
When you start getting your hopes and
expectations up, you begin to get ATTACHED to
them.
Then you run the risk of HOLDING ON TOO TIGHT
to your little fantasy.
Bad idea.
Women don't date guys who assume too much, act
too comfortable, or fall for them too quickly.
Remember, beautiful women have guys falling for
them left and right.
In fact, they almost EXPECT to go out on
one or two dates with a guy and then say, "You
know, I really like you..." or some other equally
predictable sentiment.
Just like being desperate can destroy your
chances with a woman, liking a woman too much, too
fast and creating expectations leads to crazy,
stupid mistakes as well.
|