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match000 - You didn't fail on the iceskating thing. In fact, I'd say you did really well. You did exactly what I told you to - you read the signs she was giving you and you acted on them. Nobody could've expected you to do any more; if she wasn't receptive, she wasn't receptive. You weren't going to change that by having more balls or being more chivalrous or anything.
Don't let yourself get too caught up in this girl. It has to be okay with you if she's not interested.
You can't expect to make an overnight change in the way you think or feel. You can't just say "I'm going to have the nerve to make a move and if she turns me down I'm going to be okay with that" and expect it to happen. Developing the right attitude takes time and everybody hits the roadblocks you're hitting. God knows I did.
I'm going to be honest with you - you're back to square one now. If you decide to pursue this girl, know that you're doing it on the chance that she likes you and it's very possible that she doesn't. If she does, she's still going to need time. So you're back to that decision again; is she worth the time and effort? And if she is, will it be okay if it doesn't work out? Maybe she's not and maybe it won't and that's okay. Again to borrow popular wisdom, there are plenty of other fish in the sea.
You're right, she may not be ready right now. Maybe won't be for a while. She could decide next week, next month or next year that she wants to be in a relationship. When she does it might not be with you. If it comes to that and she does choose somebody else, will you be okay with it?
Just follow your instincts. All we have to judge by is what you give us. You're the only one who knows.
Don't make yourself into the bad guy here. You may not have done everything perfect, but you did what you could. You are not a failure and you did not do anything wrong. A lot of this is up to her and if she makes up her mind you may just not be able to change that.
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I wake up in the morning more tired than before I slept
I get through cryin' and I'm sadder than before I wept
I get through thinkin' now, and the thoughts have left my head
I get through speakin' and I can't remember, not a word that I said
- Ben Harper, Show Me A Little Shame
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