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match000 · 12-03-2005, 01:16 AM

Thanks for the support! It means alot to me

so, update:

Well, this girl is like, giving me weird signals. Argh. We go out like we are dating, cuz she doesn't bring her friends along, but everytime I try to get romantic with some verbal liner, or *simple* physical stuff (simple to not put overt pressure, simple like bump, or quick pat), she doesn't reciprocate as if she wants to advance our relationship.

For example, verbally she'll just kind of laugh it off or reply with something nice, but not flirtatious back.

Physically, she'll let the smaller things happen (like bumps and stuff and still be walking closely), but *once* I tried the arm-around-shoulder as we were walking down a dark street, and I said "oh you're scared. Let me protect you (god I sound lame in retrospect)". She leaned away and then gave me a kind of O_o look, kind of like "we're friends, umm that's too touchy." err, i hope u get what i mean.

And its annoying as hell. Because she likes me, but why stop every one of my advances. Or like, she's not helping me help her. I hope you see what I mean. I'm doing what you and Mantus suggested: don't push her, but help guide her, be supportive. But she's not helping me help her. Its really annoying.

I paid for dinner and skating, which I don't mind. I know it goes against what Mantus says, but I am doing it cuz she is a *newb* and I have to really SCREAM that "THIS IS A DATE."

I know you said "carpe diem", but I still didn't ballz up during skating and try to hold her hand. Partly because of all those stopping signals I got, as I described above. The *only* time we held hands was during the "couples only skate song", where the rink forced ppl to hold hands or get off (thanks rink!).

Then after we walked halfway back I asked if she was still up for a movie (I had suggested it earlier, she had said "we'll see how tired I am after skating.") And she said no, she was tired and wanted to sleep. This was the first time she had ever said no to something I suggested to do.

So I was really really disappointed. And, unfortunately, all my friends tell me when I'm sad/angry/brooding it is *dead obvious* written all over my face. So I think she knew, cuz the other half way back I just wasn't being myself. I tried really hard, but I just can't hide my dissapointment.

I fell into the trap you warned me of, Martian. I set my expectations too high and in the end I burned myself. Even with the warnings you gave me (Which DID sink in), I still fell prey to them. Arggghhh

I'm not sure what to do with this girl. I don't think its gonna happen before winter break, but it might happen next semester if I keep keep going. But she's like, a rock that keeps giving me mixed signals.

In fact, noone knows the answer to this, but she could just be really not ready emotionally at all for a relationship her first year, no matter what. And she's just being naturally flirty cuz she's naturally good at it. And taht even if I keep going all of next semester I'll still get nowhere.

Sorry for such a long rant, again. I am really confused myself. At this time, I am too busy with other things to fall prey to girl troubles. Yet here I am. Its cuz I made a concious decision that my life would change this semester: I will not remain a study/academic nerd, no matter how busy/important time it is.

I also feel like my interest in her is going down. I keep doing all this, initiating everything, and I get these weird signals in return. She's not a hot model, I was attracted to her because she was cute enough, had a nice personality, and most importantly, showed interest.

Ok, I ranted again. Sorry.

All the best.. sitting here confused as hell.
Thanks!
Match

EDIT: After she had said 'no' to movies, we were walking on the way back and we had bumped into my good friend. He said I was in 'stonewall' mode myself (evidently my dissapoint was written on my face), that she seemed perfectly fine and even quite happy (which I agree with), and that it was me who was being weird. Hmmm. It is true.

Also, at the end, I had worked myself into such a weird dissapointment state that I didnt' even hug her at the door. There was a 1-2 second wait as she was going in, she was facing me with her back holding the door open. It was weird.

Well, feel free to give me a FAIL, cuz I FAILED again, even with your excellent advice. Why didn't I ballz up, carpe diem, BE CONFIDENT, and at least HUG? Cuz, I suck. That's all I can say

I fell into a total non-confidence vicious cycle that plunged me deeper and deeper.

To be honest, at the end when we were parting I had worked myself into thinking I was totally going to stop with this girl. Like, its useless. No more. Moving on.

Needless to say I take it back now. Argh

12-03-2005, 01:16 AM	#54 (permalink)
match000 Psycho	Thanks for the support! It means alot to me so, update: Well, this girl is like, giving me weird signals. Argh. We go out like we are dating, cuz she doesn't bring her friends along, but everytime I try to get romantic with some verbal liner, or simple physical stuff (simple to not put overt pressure, simple like bump, or quick pat), she doesn't reciprocate as if she wants to advance our relationship. For example, verbally she'll just kind of laugh it off or reply with something nice, but not flirtatious back. Physically, she'll let the smaller things happen (like bumps and stuff and still be walking closely), but once I tried the arm-around-shoulder as we were walking down a dark street, and I said "oh you're scared. Let me protect you (god I sound lame in retrospect)". She leaned away and then gave me a kind of O_o look, kind of like "we're friends, umm that's too touchy." err, i hope u get what i mean. And its annoying as hell. Because she likes me, but why stop every one of my advances. Or like, she's not helping me help her. I hope you see what I mean. I'm doing what you and Mantus suggested: don't push her, but help guide her, be supportive. But she's not helping me help her. Its really annoying. I paid for dinner and skating, which I don't mind. I know it goes against what Mantus says, but I am doing it cuz she is a newb and I have to really SCREAM that "THIS IS A DATE." I know you said "carpe diem", but I still didn't ballz up during skating and try to hold her hand. Partly because of all those stopping signals I got, as I described above. The only time we held hands was during the "couples only skate song", where the rink forced ppl to hold hands or get off (thanks rink!). Then after we walked halfway back I asked if she was still up for a movie (I had suggested it earlier, she had said "we'll see how tired I am after skating.") And she said no, she was tired and wanted to sleep. This was the first time she had ever said no to something I suggested to do. So I was really really disappointed. And, unfortunately, all my friends tell me when I'm sad/angry/brooding it is dead obvious written all over my face. So I think she knew, cuz the other half way back I just wasn't being myself. I tried really hard, but I just can't hide my dissapointment. I fell into the trap you warned me of, Martian. I set my expectations too high and in the end I burned myself. Even with the warnings you gave me (Which DID sink in), I still fell prey to them. Arggghhh I'm not sure what to do with this girl. I don't think its gonna happen before winter break, but it might happen next semester if I keep keep going. But she's like, a rock that keeps giving me mixed signals. In fact, noone knows the answer to this, but she could just be really not ready emotionally at all for a relationship her first year, no matter what. And she's just being naturally flirty cuz she's naturally good at it. And taht even if I keep going all of next semester I'll still get nowhere. Sorry for such a long rant, again. I am really confused myself. At this time, I am too busy with other things to fall prey to girl troubles. Yet here I am. Its cuz I made a concious decision that my life would change this semester: I will not remain a study/academic nerd, no matter how busy/important time it is. I also feel like my interest in her is going down. I keep doing all this, initiating everything, and I get these weird signals in return. She's not a hot model, I was attracted to her because she was cute enough, had a nice personality, and most importantly, showed interest. Ok, I ranted again. Sorry. All the best.. sitting here confused as hell. Thanks! Match EDIT: After she had said 'no' to movies, we were walking on the way back and we had bumped into my good friend. He said I was in 'stonewall' mode myself (evidently my dissapoint was written on my face), that she seemed perfectly fine and even quite happy (which I agree with), and that it was me who was being weird. Hmmm. It is true. Also, at the end, I had worked myself into such a weird dissapointment state that I didnt' even hug her at the door. There was a 1-2 second wait as she was going in, she was facing me with her back holding the door open. It was weird. Well, feel free to give me a FAIL, cuz I FAILED again, even with your excellent advice. Why didn't I ballz up, carpe diem, BE CONFIDENT, and at least HUG? Cuz, I suck. That's all I can say I fell into a total non-confidence vicious cycle that plunged me deeper and deeper. To be honest, at the end when we were parting I had worked myself into thinking I was totally going to stop with this girl. Like, its useless. No more. Moving on. Needless to say I take it back now. Argh Last edited by match000; 12-03-2005 at 01:31 AM..