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Cyn, we have spoken in the past about some of my family relationships. I have grown up believing strongly in family first, and how important blood is, despite these relatives of mine who hated me just for being my mothers’ son (no desire to even get to know who I am). At the same time, there are a few things I live by, and the main thing, knowing I took the high rode in life.
This involves making sure I do what I feel is right. In this case, by you going, there might be a relative that would appreciate it. You might regret spending money on going, but that is insignificant to the regret you might have later in life that you did not try. I grew up in a Jewish community, where there were no grandmothers and grandfathers; they all died in the holocaust. Parents did not grow up in a traditional home, knowing how to care for each other since they did not grow up in a house with relatives, just what they can pickup from the ruins after the war. I know this sounds exaggerated and a bit off topic, but it ties in for me on this topic. Basically I do not know your grandmother, and whether she was, how she was ‘to you’ for personal, psychological reasons etc.. But the end of the day she is your grandmother and either yourself or your relatives might appreciate you going. And it might bring them some good by you going. It also might give you some closure and same means of sitting there to come to terms with your feelings with her.
Sorry for the ramblings I am doing this mid-work, but these are just my thoughts I hope they help you in your decision whatever it might be. As a friend we will respect and honor whatever decision you make, and I would never tell you what to do, but since you asked here are my thoughts only.
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