Cynthetiq

thanks for the continued comments. She has made it through the night and her condition appears to be quite stable from the non drama conversations that have come to people who can separate the wheat from the chaff and actually make sense of what the people are twisting around coming from the doctors. My mother is in the medical industry, so she understands all that is going on that is being told. She's called bullshit on some of the things being said, examples:

Drama Statement:
She's being taking off of life support.

Reality:
Her potassium drip is being stopped because it's just keeping her alive.

Harder Reality:
One of the other siblings requested that the doctor do this. Why? Because one of the siblings has a vacation planned in a few days and has to travel back to the Philippines.

Did she have any instructions on paper for that? No? Then how can you say that? No Doctors directives or orders? Why would there be because she is actually stable and not in any pain? Treatment should continue as is without any changes until her condition changes. No doctor in today's litigation happy society would just do that without any signature to protect him and the hospital from any type of case of malpractice.

Drama Statement:
She's going to die, everyone needs to come together this weekend. (stated for this up coming weekend)

Reality:
Three weeks ago when she was more coherent she requested that all the siblings gather in her room.

Harder Reality:
People have to come across country and buy plane tickets. Traveling isn't cheap via airplane. Just because some of the siblings don't care about costs and travel at the drop of a hat, others cannot.

Why didn't you make this plan when she made the request? People could have at least bought 14 day advance tickets maybe saving 50% off of airfare. Give them only 2-3 days notice and you've made it impossible for some people to attend.

Drama Statement:
Relatives who haven't spoken to my father in years have been calling to convince him, stating,"She's being taken off life support. Go to her bedside."

Reality:
Again, she's not been on any life support.

Harder Reality:
He's flat out refused and given the response,"I will on my own terms and time line."

She has a "no heroic measures" DCR (I only know of a DNR), so in order for that to take place she has to flat line. Did she flat line? No.

What did she do?
For me and my sister, (and as I'm finding out my cousins that were also born here in America) absolutely nothing.

For the Filipino born, she's come out of cooking retirement to cater birthday parties, gave gifts on birthdays and holidays, made phone calls on regular basis. As an artist she made art works inspired by those Filipino born, and didn't bother for the American born.

To those that say these are childish or selfish reasons. They are, but they are only just the tip of the iceberg to illustrate the relationship. Are they the worst offenses? Possibly, but there could easily be more, these are the ones that I can recall since they are the ones that brought me to the point that I am now. I don't know if there are other affronts because I'm honestly not keeping score since I really don't care about her or our relationship that doesn't exist.

Now the statements above may come off a me being jealous of my cousins that did get her attention. Absolutely not. Those cousins are quite a clique in their own right to which I don't belong nor do I care to. When do I interact with those cousins? When they need something from me and only when they need something from me. The last time I spoke to one of them was 9 years ago when one of them was still in college and was trying to buy a cheap computer and needed some assistance navigating all the different configurations. The birthday after that was the ONLY time in my life that this cousin happened to call me to wish me a happy birthday.

Have I tried talking to her?
Yes, I did a number of years ago when I was in college and was building relationships with family members without the filter of my parents. My relationship on my terms not on my fathers. Did it make any difference? Absolutely not. Did she explain any of it? Nope not a single thing. She changed the subject.

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