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My particular point of view is that one does not owe anything to people just because of the accident of blood relationship.
However, I do understand that culturally, Asians often have a stronger feeling of familial responsibility instilled. Which makes things harder, but not necessarily with different results.
I myself had a immediate family member who was worse than toxic, yet I felt obligated to continually try, try, try for a relationship of some sort. My other family members pushed for "healing". Well, sometimes healing means you cut off the diseased part and burn it. It's better to live without an arm than to drag it around, necrotic.
So that's what I did, and I have no regrets, family or no.
*I* am in control of my life, and I choose to spend time only with folks I want to spend time with, and will not interact with those I do not want to interact with (heh, outside of work), whether I'm related to them or not. Maybe I'm emotionally stunted or something (and who's to say?), but I don't understand why that's a problem for anyone else.
I guess one has to evaluate how one comes to decide if someone is "in" or "out". I mean, I wouldn't cut off a family member for say, giving crappy gifts. But if it was part of a systemic plan to make me feel worthless my whole life, and there were other significant things going on along with, then that would certainly factor in.
If you couldn't tell, I voted don't go.
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"Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath.
At night, the ice weasels come." -
Matt Groening
My goal? To fulfill my potential.
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