Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post

aberkok · 12-01-2005, 07:09 AM

Take the high road and go.

Every time I go to visit my parents, who I love, there's always some sort of argument over my brother who lives with them. He is selfish and rude and I feel towards him much of the umbrage that you feel towards your grandma.

My wife pointed out to me that I have no choice but to keep my mouth shut when I go. There's absolutely nothing in it for me to be quiet. I'm always held to a much higher standard than my brother. Here are a few of the things he enjoys doing to my parents:

-taking the car without asking
-never being present at family meals (he'll get take-out and sit downstairs in his room)
-making us wait in the mini-van for an hour at the start of family trips while he gets ready, which basically means he is lying in bed

It's agony for me to not open my mouth about these things, but the moment I do, my mother thinks I am blaming her and she throws a tantrum. So my choices are: keep my mouth shut and watch this disrespectful leech walk all over my parents while they maintain some level of calm, or open my mouth and watch hell break loose. I've come to realize I only have to spend a couple of days at a time with them (and it's really not always so bad), so I've made the hard decision to never bring my brother up.

I hope you can see how this relates to your situation, Cyn.

12-01-2005, 07:09 AM	#12 (permalink)
aberkok “Wrong is right.” Location: toronto	Take the high road and go. Every time I go to visit my parents, who I love, there's always some sort of argument over my brother who lives with them. He is selfish and rude and I feel towards him much of the umbrage that you feel towards your grandma. My wife pointed out to me that I have no choice but to keep my mouth shut when I go. There's absolutely nothing in it for me to be quiet. I'm always held to a much higher standard than my brother. Here are a few of the things he enjoys doing to my parents: -taking the car without asking -never being present at family meals (he'll get take-out and sit downstairs in his room) -making us wait in the mini-van for an hour at the start of family trips while he gets ready, which basically means he is lying in bed It's agony for me to not open my mouth about these things, but the moment I do, my mother thinks I am blaming her and she throws a tantrum. So my choices are: keep my mouth shut and watch this disrespectful leech walk all over my parents while they maintain some level of calm, or open my mouth and watch hell break loose. I've come to realize I only have to spend a couple of days at a time with them (and it's really not always so bad), so I've made the hard decision to never bring my brother up. I hope you can see how this relates to your situation, Cyn. __________________ !check out my new blog! http://arkanamusic.wordpress.com Warden Gentiles: "It? Perfectly innocent. But I can see how, if our roles were reversed, I might have you beaten with a pillowcase full of batteries."