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I can see both sides. I am not close at all to my paternal grandparents, and when they die I will not be going to their funerals. They're practically strangers, as is the rest of that side of the family.
On the other hand, it sounds like you're carrying arouond a lot of resentment toward this woman and it might be good for you to go get closure, and to keep relations good with the rest of the family, as it sounds like you do see them an awful lot.
Choosing not to go just to spite the dead woman seems a bit self-defeating, and perhaps even a little childish, IMHO. You're not going to the funeral for her, you're going to give support and comfort to the peope who did love her and will miss her. If it means something to them, swallow your anger and just go. Slip a letter in the coffin telling your grandma everything there is for you to say, and bury your resentments with her.
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"If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing."
- Anatole France
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