If you do not go the funeral you know you are going to catch hell from the family.
If you go to the funeral you are going to be angry with your family and yourself, but most of all with your grandmother.
You seem to be very close to your sister. Call her and talk with her about your feelings, get her opinion.
Maybe you can wait after the funeral is over, come to grips with your feelings (and anger) about your grandmother, and then visit her gravesite. You have to first get over the anger and resentment; it's not worth carrying around for the rest of your life.
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it's gritty
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