Martian

Okay, here's how I'm reading this.

That wasn't a high five. Unless the door handle was at a height of six feet there's no way she thought you were high fiving her. She thought you were reaching out to take her hand.

From there, we get two things : first is that she reached out too, so she wanted to hold your hand. The second is that when you put your arm forward it was the first thing that leapt into her mind. So she was already thinking about it. You didn't know quite how to react, because she caught you off-guard and suddenly it got awkward and you both ended up sharing a sort of nervous, embarrassed kind of laugh. So that's okay. It wasn't really a mistake so much as just inexperience again; all in all, you did pretty well with that.

So here's what you do; next time, be ready for it. In fact, take her hand. Reach out and hold her hand. Do not try to force anything on her, but do reciprocate when she gives you a signal like this.


I don't know when 'after winter break' is, but I'm guessing it's too far away, especially in light of this new evidence. Dude, there's slow and then there's not moving. You want to be moving and she gave you a pretty forthright sign last night that she wants you to be moving too.

You still can't rush headlong into this. You can't approach her and say 'you held my hand now lets have sex!'. But you can move on things.

My advice is this: Set up that study date ASAP. Do it as planned, but at the end of the night look for an opportunity to kiss her. Remember that when doing that it's much easier to progress through different levels of physical intimacy than jump to one, especially one you've never been at (and I have no idea if you've ever kissed a girl before, so bear with me if you have). Start by deliberately taking her hand. Both of her hands, actually, because then she has to look at you. When that's comfortable but before it gets awkward, move closer and put your arms around her. Then, and again do this slowly, lean in gently and kiss her. Pointers in case you've never done it before are close your eyes, tilt your head so you don't bump noses, lips should be slightly parted (but no tongue) and take it slow.

Pay very close attention to hery body language while doing this. You need to make sure she's giving you the okay the whole way through. If she shows any signs of discomfort or awkwardness you may need to back off, although I leave that to your discretion.

If she lets you kiss her, don't start going all serious. And if she starts freaking out after the fact (which is possible; remember she's confused as all hell right now), don't let her draw you into some sort of what are we doing/where is this going type of conversation. Just tell her that you think she's beautiful and wanted to kiss her. Tell her that it's okay if she wants to take her time to figure things out, because you're willing to wait for her. Again, give her air. Don't start pushing. In fact, a good rule here would be don't ask questions at all. Let her have a bit of a freak out, don't get defensive, stay calm and be reassuring. Tell her it's okay if she's not really sure about all of this. Let her know that this is what you want and you're willing to wait for her to make her decision.

If she doesn't let you kiss her, well, don't panic. So long as you read the signs well enough to not actually try to kiss her when she doesn't want you to, you should be okay. Even if you do try to kiss her it's not the end of the world, although it will complicate things a bit more.

And a final note, don't overreact to perceived signs. The ones you're looking for should be fairly obvious; if you have to ask if that was her trying to give you a signal, it probably wasn't. And.. oh, what's that word? Oh, yeah! Confidence!

EDIT - Oh and on the dinner issue raised above; for informal outings you're not obligated to pay. But if it's a date, I'd say absolutely you want to pay. You also want to drive or pay for the cab. Remember, she doesn't have a lot of practical experience in the dating world, which means there's not much room for subtltety. If you're taking her on a date you want it to scream 'THIS IS A DATE!' at every opportunity.

__________________
I wake up in the morning more tired than before I slept
I get through cryin' and I'm sadder than before I wept
I get through thinkin' now, and the thoughts have left my head
I get through speakin' and I can't remember, not a word that I said

- Ben Harper, Show Me A Little Shame