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Originally Posted by Charlatan
Catdaddy... you have just given a great example of having explained yourself many times in the past and using BISS as a short hand for, "I have explained to you that it is your bedtime, many times. You know you have to get up for school tomorrow and... etc." BISS sums all of that up nicely.
Where BISS would be misued in this case would be if you had never given an explaination in the first place.
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Bingo. On a trip to see family once, we bought my kid a blowgun. No, really.
The things are really cool. With a little practice, you can hit an object the size of an orange from across a large room.
The problem arose when he didn't want to let it out of his sight, meaning he wanted to carry it on the plane for our return flight. He was about 11, and he hauled out every negotiating tactic in the book. After a few minutes of discussion, my answer was BISS.
On the other hand, I have observed my wife debate with the kid literally for hours, over something like my kid's desire not to get a shot from the doctor. Whose mind do you think is going to get changed in that scenario?
Throughout my parenting years, I've explained things once, maybe twice, and if it was a black and white decision, the third time was BISS. What was really idiotic was that my wife would argue, reason, or whatever, a situation like the shot, and then come to me and tell me I needed to inform the kid that he WOULD be getting a shot. My response, not that it did any good, was "So why did you waste the last hour debating this?" Then I'd tell the kid, he'd walk off muttering, and he'd go get the shot.
Oh, an example of one thing I do that they probably hate worse than BISS.
Kid: My friend wants to sell me his non-running car for $100.
Me: Bad idea. You don't have the money to fix it.
Kid: But it's a great deal!
Me: No it isn't. You're not doing it.
Kid: Why? (Note: I've already answered that.)
Me: I've already told you. Now you can sit here and argue for the next hour if you want, but the answer is still going to be no. How much time do you plan to keep wasting?
Note to Jinn and Gucci: If you'd behaved in my house as you've related, you would certainly have moved out at the earliest opportunity, because there is no way I'd pay the bills for a kid like either of you. Those eighteen years would certainly seem like a long time, since you wouldn't be able to afford any music, and your only shoes would be saddle oxfords.
He who has the gold makes the rules.