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I admire you for selflessly putting yourself out to care for these little ones. Your decision will have a world of difference for these children for the rest of their lives. I believe they will be so much better off for your sacrifice.
As other's said here - us parents don't have it together about 99% of the time. We learn as we go and I think the children teach us as much as we sometimes teach them.
In regards to allowing the mother to come back. Trust your instincts, if you are uncomfortable in the least with it then don't do it. She's used up her second chances and now needs to seriously prove herself as a changed, responsible, unselfish person.
Take care and we'll be glad to what advice, commiseration as we can.
Do you have toothbrushes for them, other sundries. Is the 4 yr old able to sleep through the night? You might get some pullups or drynites (something like that) for the 4 yr old if necessary. Do you have a change of sheets for their beds? sippy cups? cabinet locks, outlet plugs, all those safety measures. Granted the youngest may be 2 but their curiosity can still overpower the things they've been told. Oh and a good kids video or two for those times when you just HAVE to have a break.
As for food - almost every kid I've watched has liked string cheese, chicken nuggets, and fruit snacks. Those are nice to have around for those times when you are too tired to fix dinner or a snack.
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"Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama
My Karma just ran over your Dogma. 
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