I've definitely been in the same position. During my freshman/sophomore year of college, I thought going to these big parties was the only way I was going to meet new people and make some new friends, so I went... I was usually bored, uncomfortable, and found out that the kind of people at these parties were usually not the kind of people I wanted to be friends with. Hell, they were so plastered it wasn't like they were going to remember that they even met me the next day. I, like you, don't usually enjoy drinking unless it's with a close, small group of friends.
I think my advice would be to find someone (such as this nice lady friend you seem to want to hang out with) and do other things besides go to these parties. She may have some friends that also enjoy participating in activities that don't always involve drinking. I discovered that most of these people who partied all of the time eventually grew out of it... and I have finally found some closer friends I am content with and comfortable hanging out with.
Congrats on being more mature, btw.
