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ngdawg · 11-24-2005, 12:07 PM

" I didn't give my business to a restaurant where, for whatever reason, I wasn't wanted. Another upside: I didn't have to confront them and find out why they didn't want me there, thus being embarrassed at being told directly why I was unacceptable. Was it the way I was dressed, or how I acted, what? On the one hand, it would be nice to know so that I could avoid doing whatever it was that made me unwanted th enext time I was in a restaurant and get good service, but on the other hand, it would be embarrassing to be told directly why I was unacceptable."

This saddens me. As a former 'shy' person(a friend from high school called me 'painfully shy' just recently about those days), I understand the feelings behind it.
It took some therapy and some major re-learning about who I am, with the help of a very tough friend to get to this thought: Sometimes, it just isn't about US.
We have this thought that we're projecting some sort of awful, monster-like persona that repels people and when someone attempts to befriend or help, we attribute it to pity instead of their own need to reach out and be helpful.
Many times we sabotage it, solidifying our false thoughts that we ARE less than worthy.
Please, PLEASE know that you ARE worthy, that people will connect or reject based on their OWN feelings, not yours. No one ever died from shyness, but it does hold back a lot of living. Better to step just a bit over your own line and enjoy than to stand behind it and wonder....take chances, make mistakes and know that with each one, your learned more about yourself than you knew before, not to mention the pride that comes with knowing you did what you thought you couldn't do.

11-24-2005, 12:07 PM	#102 (permalink)
ngdawg peekaboo Location: on the back, bitch	" I didn't give my business to a restaurant where, for whatever reason, I wasn't wanted. Another upside: I didn't have to confront them and find out why they didn't want me there, thus being embarrassed at being told directly why I was unacceptable. Was it the way I was dressed, or how I acted, what? On the one hand, it would be nice to know so that I could avoid doing whatever it was that made me unwanted th enext time I was in a restaurant and get good service, but on the other hand, it would be embarrassing to be told directly why I was unacceptable." This saddens me. As a former 'shy' person(a friend from high school called me 'painfully shy' just recently about those days), I understand the feelings behind it. It took some therapy and some major re-learning about who I am, with the help of a very tough friend to get to this thought: Sometimes, it just isn't about US. We have this thought that we're projecting some sort of awful, monster-like persona that repels people and when someone attempts to befriend or help, we attribute it to pity instead of their own need to reach out and be helpful. Many times we sabotage it, solidifying our false thoughts that we ARE less than worthy. Please, PLEASE know that you ARE worthy, that people will connect or reject based on their OWN feelings, not yours. No one ever died from shyness, but it does hold back a lot of living. Better to step just a bit over your own line and enjoy than to stand behind it and wonder....take chances, make mistakes and know that with each one, your learned more about yourself than you knew before, not to mention the pride that comes with knowing you did what you thought you couldn't do. __________________ Don't blame me. I didn't vote for either of'em.