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Originally Posted by cellophanedeity
Alright, I suppose I should have given the type of situation I meant.
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It's more along those lines. There is no open communication or dialogue regarding our freedoms and responsibilities. That's the real problem.
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To me that indicates either lazy parenting or a lack of imagination.
To use BISS in this case shows that your mother can't muster up a reason right now as to why she wants you home or your brother to now go play cards. She simply wants to control your activities and can't be bothered to give a reason.
With a little imagination she could have come up with an excuse that, while not neccessarily being the truth, could have satisfied your desire for an explaination.
In my mind, it comes down to control. She still sees both of you as her babies and can't let go. Emancipate yourself.
You are 19. 19! And while, yes, you are living under their roof, there really needs to be a shift in the power structure. You can (and should) follow her rules BUT, there has to be an acknowledgement that you are now an adult. You need to either negotiate some new rules or more out. Is she still giong to give you a curfew when you are 20? What about when you are 21?
My mother's rules where simple. If I was going to be out past midnight, just call her and let her know. That way she wouldn't be up all night worrying about me. I had this rule from about 17 onwards.
When I moved away for University I was 18. I moved back home that first summer. It was very difficult to submit to living in someone else's house. When I went back to school in the fall, I never moved home again.