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JustJess · 11-22-2005, 06:26 AM

Gilda, may I give you the POV of the random chatter? I am often that person - I will engage a person I don't know, ask questions, etc. And I swear, I mean no harm. See, the extroverted types like moi are often unintentionally difficult. We think we're being nice! I would bet good money - no, GREAT money - that she is seeing a new woman in her area, similar education, similar age range, brand new and can see that you're a bit shy, so she's making the overtures. She's being FRIENDLY.

She's thinking, "Oh, Dr. Nakamura doesn't know anyone yet, hasn't started classes, let me help her get adjusted, let her know she's got an ally to help her with all this new stuff." We see someone who acts like they're feeling out of place or awkward, especially if we're comfortable in the surroundings, and we want to help. That's it. If I see someone with a lost expression in my building, or on the sidewalk by work (we have several buildings next to each other), I'll just stop and ask if they need any help. I have NO ulterior motives, I just like helping people. It's fun sometimes, sometimes I meet someone new and interesting, and I always feel better about my day and my karma. I'd bet she's similar.

Plus, she's probably dying for someone her own age to talk to - maybe she sees you as a relief from the rest of the department. And if she does all the talking and leading of the conversation, then it's EASIER for you - you just have to follow rather than figuring out how to lead the conversation. Maybe she's a little annoying, but she's harmless. And she's going to be a HUGE help at the party, she's already decided to help you. That means she'll introduce you to people so you don't have to figure out who they are, she'll let you know some of the guidelines of how it works there, and she's probably a great person to ask about the dress code for the party.

Don't worry about feeling like you're using her. One, we all use our friends for different things whether we realize it or not. Two, she's offering to be used that way.

Go forth and prosper.

11-22-2005, 06:26 AM	#92 (permalink)
JustJess Unencapsulated Location: Kittyville	Gilda, may I give you the POV of the random chatter? I am often that person - I will engage a person I don't know, ask questions, etc. And I swear, I mean no harm. See, the extroverted types like moi are often unintentionally difficult. We think we're being nice! I would bet good money - no, GREAT money - that she is seeing a new woman in her area, similar education, similar age range, brand new and can see that you're a bit shy, so she's making the overtures. She's being FRIENDLY. She's thinking, "Oh, Dr. Nakamura doesn't know anyone yet, hasn't started classes, let me help her get adjusted, let her know she's got an ally to help her with all this new stuff." We see someone who acts like they're feeling out of place or awkward, especially if we're comfortable in the surroundings, and we want to help. That's it. If I see someone with a lost expression in my building, or on the sidewalk by work (we have several buildings next to each other), I'll just stop and ask if they need any help. I have NO ulterior motives, I just like helping people. It's fun sometimes, sometimes I meet someone new and interesting, and I always feel better about my day and my karma. I'd bet she's similar. Plus, she's probably dying for someone her own age to talk to - maybe she sees you as a relief from the rest of the department. And if she does all the talking and leading of the conversation, then it's EASIER for you - you just have to follow rather than figuring out how to lead the conversation. Maybe she's a little annoying, but she's harmless. And she's going to be a HUGE help at the party, she's already decided to help you. That means she'll introduce you to people so you don't have to figure out who they are, she'll let you know some of the guidelines of how it works there, and she's probably a great person to ask about the dress code for the party. Don't worry about feeling like you're using her. One, we all use our friends for different things whether we realize it or not. Two, she's offering to be used that way. Go forth and prosper. __________________ My heart knows me better than I know myself, so I'm gonna let it do all the talkin'.