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Originally Posted by Poppinjay
Most guys that age turn shy pretty quickly when dealing with an attractive female.
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Heh. I seriously doubt anyone has ever been intimidated by my looks. But thanks.
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As for my original post, being independent and dealing with people outside of your comfort zone is not "growing away" from Grace. It's growing, period.
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I disagree. Five years ago, Sissy needed me, I mean really needed me for emotional support that she couldn't get from anyone else in our family. As she's grown as a person, and grown stronger, she's gotten to the point where she doesn't need me at all anymore. Someday, sooner or later, she'll get married, or she'll graduate and take off on her own, and we'll be apart. Though this saddens me on one level, I recognize that she's better off without me than having to depend on me. Her growing more independent did mean her growing away from me. In this case, it's a good thing.
But if I got more indepenent, it would mean losing a bit of my connection to Grace, and that would diminish me in a way that I find very scary.
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Keep in mind I'm in the same boat, and when I was younger (Jebus, now I feel like an old fart) I would never approach somebody if I were lost. I would just wander around until I wasn't lost (which I did, alot, lousy sense of direction). To this day, I would walk out if I didn't get served at a restaurant. What I do now though, is put a penny on the table.
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Well, I do the same thing. I'd rather invest the time needed to find my way than feel foolish. I don't see anywhere where people were saying that walking out was the wrong thing to do, just that I shouldn't have felt bad about it. It isn't what I did that was the problem, it was how I felt about what I did, if I've been reading it right.
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I think your Denny's experience was entirely not about anything you presented as a person. You were there alone, which means the waitress (who is legally paid all of $2.13 an hour) assumed there would be a much smaller tip than larger groups. And Denny's has never been known for its sterling management or customer service. Your waitress probably went home that night and bitched about the single woman who took up 10 seconds of her time while she was trying to milk a famiily of five for a lousy $3 tip. Having worked in restaurants, and also having been ignored several times when I've dined alone, I can tell you this is how some waitstaff operate. I also know that if you piss them off, they will spit in your food.
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Aha! Finally, someone agrees with me. Confrontation would have had concrete negative consequences that had nothing to do with how I felt about the situation.
Also, I think I haven't made something completely clear. It was in one of those posts that I deleted above, but as I think about it, I see that I really haven't been clear about one point.
I know that I wasn't the problem. I know, and I knew at the time that I should have been served at the restaurant, and that there was nothing about me that meant that I was unworthy of eating there. The problem wasn't about how I felt about myself, it was in how I thought they felt about me, and I didn't want to suffer the idignity of being told whatever it was. Being insulted is unpleasant, even when you know the insult isn't accurate.
Gilda