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Originally Posted by little_tippler
I don't know exactly how this could traumatise her. I don't know her. But I think this is too extreme a way to solve a kid having bad grades and acting up - especially a teenager.
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How would you solve it? they've already withdrawn her from her sports teams, which she liked to do. She's not yet old enough to drive so they can't yank that perq. Seems to me they tried the standard stuff that they had available to them and it didn't work.
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I'd much rather remember my parents in a good light, than remember being forced to stand by the road with a card saying I'm a bad kid and I don't live up to my parents expectations.
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The card did NOT say she was a bad kid. You read that into it. The card said she was messing up. And hey! She was!
and I'd rather remember pleasant stuff about my parents too, but more than that I'd rather remember that they were parent first, friend second, because you cannot always be your kid's friend if you want her to grow up right. It's the parents that think they have to be a friend, and always make sure that their kid is delighted with them, and never do anything that might hurt the kid's feelings that end up raising monsters.
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There are surely better ways to handle the situation.
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I'm all ears. . ..
Plus we are not saying there aren't better ways, we are simply saying there's nothing abusive about the way this mother chose.
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And I am not equating emotional trauma with sexual abuse - you're saying that, not me.
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No, you are. You're acting as though being embarassed for an hour will cause her to be "traumatized for life." Well one of the impacts of sexual abuse is being traumatized for life. You are NOT going to get the same severity or duration of traumatization from having to hold up a sign saying you messed up. In fact, if you get traumatized at all you have issues.
In the real world we have to own up to our screw ups. Now that this young lady has learned that, she seems to be on a better path. Sometimes it takes shock tactics to wake a kid up. This particular tactic did not physically injure her. It did not say she was worthless or a bad kid. It just said she was royally screwing up and that the screw ups must stop immediately.