Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - Losing your virginity: does it change you?

simivin · 11-16-2005, 09:55 PM

I agree with a lot of what you said this time iblade. I agree that it is culturally impressed upon people. But like I said, my main contentions were:

- Sweeping generalizations about what losing one's virginity does-- it can't be objective answers, like you said, but only subjective and relative (ie, read post 16 when you say "definately")
- Assuming that just because a cultural standard establishes it as a right of passage means that it inherently (outside of a cultural context) is one
- Implying that there is some tangible, physical change that transitions someone to "manhood"
- Implying that women notice that you're confident b/c of having sex - they certainly might notice confidence, but I don't think it's contingent on having sex. Confidence can be gain entirely without having sex, and women can still notice.

But again, I agree -- we live in a society that defines certain standards, certain expectations, etc. Since we live in such a society, we are subject to it's norms. I am just trying to say that sex and losing one's virginity, when abstracted away from everything, doesn't have any hugely generalizable qualities other than being able to check a block "been there, done that" (pun intended). That is all -- I'm not trying to discredit how it affected you, or anyone else.

Sim

PS: sorry for what might be overanalysis...that's what a degree in Behavioral Science and getting an MA in analytic philosophy will do to you...wicked stuff, man.

PPS: If you wanna know why it made me feel worse, search for threads with my handle. I asked TFPers for all sorts of related advice. I will say that a lot of my insecurity is, in fact, due to cultural pressure; however, this doesn't change my stance above...it just indicates that I'm rather weaker than I would like to be or think I should be.

11-16-2005, 09:55 PM	#76 (permalink)
simivin Banned	I agree with a lot of what you said this time iblade. I agree that it is culturally impressed upon people. But like I said, my main contentions were: - Sweeping generalizations about what losing one's virginity does-- it can't be objective answers, like you said, but only subjective and relative (ie, read post 16 when you say "definately") - Assuming that just because a cultural standard establishes it as a right of passage means that it inherently (outside of a cultural context) is one - Implying that there is some tangible, physical change that transitions someone to "manhood" - Implying that women notice that you're confident b/c of having sex - they certainly might notice confidence, but I don't think it's contingent on having sex. Confidence can be gain entirely without having sex, and women can still notice. But again, I agree -- we live in a society that defines certain standards, certain expectations, etc. Since we live in such a society, we are subject to it's norms. I am just trying to say that sex and losing one's virginity, when abstracted away from everything, doesn't have any hugely generalizable qualities other than being able to check a block "been there, done that" (pun intended). That is all -- I'm not trying to discredit how it affected you, or anyone else. Sim PS: sorry for what might be overanalysis...that's what a degree in Behavioral Science and getting an MA in analytic philosophy will do to you...wicked stuff, man. PPS: If you wanna know why it made me feel worse, search for threads with my handle. I asked TFPers for all sorts of related advice. I will say that a lot of my insecurity is, in fact, due to cultural pressure; however, this doesn't change my stance above...it just indicates that I'm rather weaker than I would like to be or think I should be.