Simivin,
When you said,
Quote:
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Perhaps. In some sense, that is what American (and many other) societies have described it as. Do I think it really, fundamentally has anything to do with manhood? No, I don't. I think there are plenty of things I have done that are a better representation of my maturity and manhood than just sex. But, society does tend to create this image of sex as that rite of passage -- into manhood or womanhood. Whether or not that is as important as you say is a matter of individual internalization of this pespective.
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I felt that you had just expressed what I meant.
I'm not saying that losing one's virginity is a rite, but that it is considered a rite. What sources do I use to prove my point? Well look at any teen movie/show to see how the media can influence the population in beleiving that... And I'm not saying it is something they created, because I beleive it is something present in most of the cultures of the world. Losing one's virginity is one of the rites of passage into manhood. For example look at the so called "closed houses" (prostitution) that existed in Europe up to the beginning of the 20th century, and that still do in some places, where young men would go to finish their "education" and become a man. That's what I'm saying, it's a cultural thing. And hence, being a cultural heritage, I beleive it influences the lives of a majority of the population (feeling shame being an old virgin for example).
What I am trying to do is only to share experiences about losing our virginity and if it changed us. And I'm trying to collect objective answers. It did not tremendously change me, but I am not obsessed with it anymore, and I feel more confident at least about sex, which is something that I beleive, women notice. These were the changes in my case.
I'm curious, why did losing your virginity make you feel worse?
mfe,
About the constant sexual references, agreed, it was annoying. I can't wait to get back with my friends and finally enjoy a good talk about sex. And not just "pretend that I know" anymore.