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I can't speak for anybody else but losing my virginity changed me. I was 17 and thought I was far too old to still be one. Most of my close girl friends still were too though. I still thought I was too old to go on being one. I had my first time with someone who at the time meant something to me and I felt it was the right time. In retrospect, and ironically, I think I wasn't ready and I wish I'd waited a while longer. Weird huh?
It changed me in the sense that I didn't have to wonder about it anymore and think it was this really important thing I had to start doing, and also it changed my mindset and made me grow more aware of people who really were interested in me, and those who just wanted to get in my pants. Sex lost it's adolescent importance and shed clarity on a few things for me, once I'd had it.
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Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.
Fernando Pessoa, 1918
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