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Gilda, I can understand kind of the fears you are facing. Although my shyness is not extreme, I have an example:
Studying in the library, its supposed to be very quiet. But when people talk loudly or make lots of noise, someone usually does a loud 'SSHHHHH' which shushes them up.
Everytime I feel like I want to do a SSSHHHH but I just can't bring myself to do it. A few times I actually walked over to the people and told them to be quiet, which is WORSE, because it makes me unanonymous in quieting them.
In any case, I was fearful of the SSHHHH-ing because basically it felt much ruder and pruder than going up and asking for quietness.
However, I finally had the balls to SSSHHH once, and although it was tense, every time afterwards has been easier and more natural.
I think this can be analogous to your shyness. Every time you need to assert yourself, just force yourself to do it and it will be easier gradually. It takes alot of guts, I know, but it will be easier after a few times.
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