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FngKestrel · 11-12-2005, 07:30 AM

I had a long post all ready to post, but pje120's post pretty much summed it all up.

I will offer that I can relate. I was pretty introverted for a long time, very mindful of how other people perceived me. It wasn't until I made a conscious effort to getting outside my comfort zone and probing the waters that I was able to be more extroverted.

You care what people think. But you care what everybody thinks, which makes you eager to please, or at least eager to not participate.

But I think you know all that. A side effect of being introverted is extreme self-examination, which has its strengths, but is very easy to dwell on. If you want to change then you need to first change your perception of the problem. If there's no perceived problem, then there's no clear solution or even a need for a solution. I think your perception is already starting to change, otherwise why would you have posted this thread? It seems like you're posing a question on whether or not you have a problem. Like the events you've recently experienced have made you start to question your worldview.

IF you decide that you have a problem (and it has to be your decision, not someone else's decision, be it concerned TFPers or your therapist), increasing self-confidence is definitely the next step. By increasing your comfort zones and feeling like you have authority, not simply because you're a teacher, but because you are a smart, attractive, and capable woman. That in its own right entitles you to authority. To reduce it even further, the fact that you exist gives you authority. Everyone is entitled to their opinion and is equally entitled to voice it. You are no different.

But the desire to change has to come from within, first in perception, then in action.

Of course, if you feel like I'm projecting onto you, you can blow me off (and that would be me trying not to offend).

11-12-2005, 07:30 AM	#8 (permalink)
FngKestrel Junkie	I had a long post all ready to post, but pje120's post pretty much summed it all up. I will offer that I can relate. I was pretty introverted for a long time, very mindful of how other people perceived me. It wasn't until I made a conscious effort to getting outside my comfort zone and probing the waters that I was able to be more extroverted. You care what people think. But you care what everybody thinks, which makes you eager to please, or at least eager to not participate. But I think you know all that. A side effect of being introverted is extreme self-examination, which has its strengths, but is very easy to dwell on. If you want to change then you need to first change your perception of the problem. If there's no perceived problem, then there's no clear solution or even a need for a solution. I think your perception is already starting to change, otherwise why would you have posted this thread? It seems like you're posing a question on whether or not you have a problem. Like the events you've recently experienced have made you start to question your worldview. IF you decide that you have a problem (and it has to be your decision, not someone else's decision, be it concerned TFPers or your therapist), increasing self-confidence is definitely the next step. By increasing your comfort zones and feeling like you have authority, not simply because you're a teacher, but because you are a smart, attractive, and capable woman. That in its own right entitles you to authority. To reduce it even further, the fact that you exist gives you authority. Everyone is entitled to their opinion and is equally entitled to voice it. You are no different. But the desire to change has to come from within, first in perception, then in action. Of course, if you feel like I'm projecting onto you, you can blow me off (and that would be me trying not to offend).