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Old 11-11-2005, 04:07 AM   #35 (permalink)
scout
Psycho
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by pan6467
So then I have student loans to pay, a job if I am lucky pays $7 an hour and have no desire to do and I still won't be able to pay off either then.

By going to school, I have been given the drive to better my life because I will be doing something I believe in and truly want to do. I have self respect, the respect of my coworkers and family and the respect of other addicts I work with. That means more to me than any amount of fucking money.... I know for some on this board they can't grasp how, nor can they lower those self righteous, know it all, egotistical beliefs they have, that they just know they would never be in my position and if they were they would handle it soooooo fucking much better.

If I do as you say, and you'll see it as a character flaw but fuck that self righteous attitude...... then I'll be miserable and will have truly given up, because the drive will have been sucked right out of me.

If I work more, I get less in financial aid and then I can't afford school so I'm in the same boat.

And no I am not the only person who is in this boat, and many who are give up. I refuse to give up and will pay off $5 a month if that is all I can, but I refuse to have people tell me "I need to work harder" or "I derserve this" or "fuck what you want to do, do what you have to do".

I am doing what I want to do because when I get through with school I'll be in a far better position. And because unlike the self righteous who spew the "not government or my problem" bullshit (sorry we are on this Earth together, we have an inherent and God driven duty to help each other IMHO), I believe by bettering myself and being in a job I love, I can help others better and be a more positive example for other who are trying to rebuild their lives.

If I do what you tell me or suggest that "I need to do", then I'm going to be miserable and not give a fuck and to be honest, I'll just find a doctor who will put me on SSI and I'll have you pay for it all anyway. Because that attitude is not conducive to those who are trying to better themselves and show society that they are viable and that they feel and want does matter and is equal to the feelings and wants of the Bill Gates' and Warren Buffetts' (both of whom have come forward for medical refom).

You give people no hope, you kill their spirit and destroy them...... and is that what we as a society truly want? Is fucking money more important than people's well being and happiness????? God forgive those who believe it is.
I wasn't trying to be rude, just perhaps giving you another way to look at it. I am truly sorry you took it the way you did. I guess I find it hard to grasp the attitude of "everyone owes me free health care just because I go to school". I'm really not trying to be snobbish or have a bad attitude. I'm only 4 years older than you. I remember when I went to school I worked two jobs and raised a family, all without any public assistance other than Pell grants and they wasn't much. It wasn't that I didn't qualify for assistance, but I knew if my parents found out I or my family was receiving public assistance all hell would break loose as this would be a major embarrassment to them and to the extended family. And they wasn't going to help me unless the world was about to end lol. To be honest I'm still paying about $4500 in student loans but I've about got it licked! Yea sometimes I thought it was impossible and I would never get out of school. Some years I only went part time, other years I was able to pick up a few "extra" credits, but it all worked out in the end. At the time it was rough, but I made it. I appreciate more now what my parents taught me then about self sufficiency. I've said all that to say this I guess .... I hope you the best and I truly hope it all works out for you. As you stated, if you have to send them $5 a month to get through it then that's what you have to do. Hang in there, it's gonna get better! Good luck!
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