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Hi Tim
I know somewhat of how you're feeling. While I have not had sexual entercourse with another woman, i have come very close and have commited adultery by breaking her trust with getting too close to another woman emotionally. I got married when i was 20, I am about to turn 31. So from your comment about getting married because it was the right thign to do and realizing now that you may not WANT to be married, I completely underdstand.
Don't get Tim and I wrong everyone, we love our wives, we have devoted ourselves to our wives, but there's always these stunning women in the world that we can't keep our eyes off of and can't stop the thoughts from going through our head about them. Mind you, the post on this forum about your actions defining the type of person you are is completely correct. I know I crossed the line and I regret it, I am going to try 110% not to ever let that happen again, because: 1) It hurt my wife beyond words, 2) It embarrasses me that i gave into it, that i wasnt strong enough, 3) It hurts getting close to someone out of passion and almost throwing away your life.
My advice for you Tim, since you are still so new in your marriage is to really look inside yourself to figure out what you want. And to do so, i think you need profession help, someone neutral to talk to (Aside from us goofs on the forums) and really find out what you need for you. If you think you;'d be happer alone, you may find in a couple years that you have had a dozen empty realationships and that you really would rather have your wife back, and it'll be too late.
For me, I know what i want, i want my wife, I want my family. I had to look hard into myself to figure that out, and i had to have the help of a higher power to lead me in the right direction. And above all, i needed a loving wife to support me no matter what my decison was and to try her hardest to forgive what i have done.
I hope my thoughts help, feel free to send me a private message and we can talk more.
~~Kyll
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