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Man I'm upset with myself. I moved from home for the first time to San Diego to be with this girl. I didn't want to do it just for her so I finished up junior college here and got into a nice private school, but I'm realizing that my *entire* enviornment is one big reminder of her. My apartment, my furniture, my activities, my friends, the freeways, the city itself.. I'm quite disappointed that I lined myself up for that. Having such a comfortable relationship kept me from going out and meeting new people as much as I would have if single. So here I am now with virtually only a few friends, living alone in a studio, while she's off working and playing around with her roomates.
Not trying to be pessamistic, I'm just upset that I did that. I'm quite a sucker for pleasure I think. And I know I should be doing exactly what she's doing, but it's a bumpy road to start from scratch. I think I'ma make a roadtrip with a friend to Arizona this weekend to attend a friend's fashion party. God I need a change. The thoughts that slammed my mind the second I awoke this morning were really damaging to my spirit.
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Embracing the goddess energy within yourselves will bring all of you to a new understanding and valuing of life. A vision that inspires you to live and love on planet Earth. Like a priceless jewel buried in dark layers of soil and stone, Earth radiates her brilliant beauty into the caverns of space and time. Perhaps you are aware of those who watch over your home And experience of this place to visit and play with reality. You are becoming aware of yourself as a gamemaster...
--Acknowledge your weaknesses--
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