Edit: ^^^ That would work in a pinch!
In talking about it, I'd chalk up the wedding thing to a misunderstanding - you didn't understand that it was so important to her, so if it's important to her, it's important to you. That's not being pressured.
Lunch would be a great time to talk about it, it's a pretty neutral zone. Comments on how you're looking forward to seeing her all dressed up wouldn't go amiss either.
As for the looking... it wasn't so much looking for a replacement, as it was reassurance that I still had "it", should I need to have "it", ah, insecurity. Also, I think there was a lot of subconscious need to sort of check and compare my feelings - sure, I love Quadro, but do I love him because I haven't been with anyone else in 4 years?? And I found that I did and do love him because he's him, not because I couldn't get anyone else. We've been together almost 9 years now, and last week was 1 year of being married! Not to say that all things work out so neatly, but they can and do happen that way sometimes.