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I've been giving this some thought, and I keep getting 4 scenario's in my head about how this can go.
1. She freaks, dumps you, then proceeds to tell everyone about it in a state of emotional desperation. People turn on you and the "punishment" you believe you deserve becomes a little more than you can bear.
2. She freaks, dumps you but keeps it a secret out of respect for you.
3. She freaks, talks it out with you and decides to give the relationship a chance and it works out well.
4. She freaks, talks it out with you and decides to give the relationship a chance. Some time later you break up and out of spite, she tells everyone what happened.
This is an incredibly tough situation and I honestly don't know how to handle it. From what you've been saying, keeping this a secret is tearing you up. In that sense, if you do keep it a secret from her, you'll spend your time with her terrified she'll find out. The guilt of keeping it from her could consume you if this happens.
I really don't envy you right now because it seems like you might have found someone special to you, but you run such a high risk of losing her.
Personally, I couldn't keep the secret. I wish you the best with this, though.
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"I can normally tell how intelligent a man is by how stupid he thinks I am" - Cormac McCarthy, All The Pretty Horses
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