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ngdawg · 11-07-2005, 10:02 AM

Rape, while it is sex-based, is a crime of violence-an overpowering of the victim in a vile, most personal way.
Consensual sex, on the other hand, can be considered a taking of your own power back, a freeing of yourself in the discovery of your needs and emotions and powers. But until you trust yourself, you're not going to enjoy it. It also seems your boyfriend is lacking in self-trust, or that, due to your own inhibitions, he is feeling so guilty about how he feels about you that now he thinks he's the bad guy.
Guessing here, but it would seem your aversion is based on a sound history of distrust of men, but that isn't your fault coming in. It becomes your fault when you choose not to change that line of thinking. Most men are worthy of trust and love, they are kind, caring and just as emotionally delicate as women are thought to be.
How to get over this imbedded distrust? You might need the help of a professional. In the meantime, allay your boyfriends fears if you can. Trust him and assure him he is not bad for feeling how he does about you. You have a lot of work ahead of you, it seems, but the payoffs are so worth it.

11-07-2005, 10:02 AM	#3 (permalink)
ngdawg peekaboo Location: on the back, bitch	Rape, while it is sex-based, is a crime of violence-an overpowering of the victim in a vile, most personal way. Consensual sex, on the other hand, can be considered a taking of your own power back, a freeing of yourself in the discovery of your needs and emotions and powers. But until you trust yourself, you're not going to enjoy it. It also seems your boyfriend is lacking in self-trust, or that, due to your own inhibitions, he is feeling so guilty about how he feels about you that now he thinks he's the bad guy. Guessing here, but it would seem your aversion is based on a sound history of distrust of men, but that isn't your fault coming in. It becomes your fault when you choose not to change that line of thinking. Most men are worthy of trust and love, they are kind, caring and just as emotionally delicate as women are thought to be. How to get over this imbedded distrust? You might need the help of a professional. In the meantime, allay your boyfriends fears if you can. Trust him and assure him he is not bad for feeling how he does about you. You have a lot of work ahead of you, it seems, but the payoffs are so worth it. __________________ Don't blame me. I didn't vote for either of'em.