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I have to say that I think this relationship is impossible. You will always feel guilty if you don't tell her. She will hate you if you tell her. I doubt she will be able to get over that fact, no matter how wonderful a person she may be. I'm sorry to be blunt, but as it has been said by some already in this thread, this relationship just sounds like it will never work. Even if you guys are great together without that incident between you. It happened, and you can't erase it. From your mind, or hers, if you decide to tell her. I'm sorry for your troubles.
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Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.
Fernando Pessoa, 1918
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