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Originally Posted by onesnowyowl
If she isn't willing to chat--tell her it's either talk about it, or split. Communication is key--if you can't do it, you shouldn't be in a relationship (that goes for both of you).
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While I generally loathe any notions of "ultimatums", even in communication, you can still very emphatically stress that without communication, the relationship will essentially end itself (not "tell me x, or i break up with you"-style). I very strongly agree with "if you can't communicate, you shouldn't be in a relationship."
It sounds like you've done a lot on your end to be understanding, helpful, and communicative, but aren't getting much more than "I need space" on the other side. The question is- if this started suddenly, then it means soemthing changed. It doesn't turn on like a light switch over doubts or a sluggish relationship. You probably have one of the two:
1. She met a guy, is seeing him when she can but keeping you on the back-burner in case she finds she still wants you, or until she moves on (sounds like you've done this one before).
2. You saying you wouldn't attend the wedding sends SERIOUS "this relationship isn't important to me" signals. You said that she said, ""I guess I assumed we were on a different level", which very strongly points towards this possibility.
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Originally Posted by -Ever-
I think that's kind of BS though because of the situation. I do plenty of things for her as far as giving time to support her, her family life, her pretty strong Christian background, etc.
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Doing things, support, etc., have nothing whatsoever to do with the emotional plane on which your relationship sits. You could do jack shit and be married and madly in love for all time, or you could do everything humanly possible to please her and never get past "puppy love", never really reach the higher levels of relationship closeness.
If it were me, i'd bank on #2, and quickly remedy this wedding thing. Family is most definitely important to her, if she's making this kind of deal over it, and saying you don't want to be involved is most likely a bit (if not "very") off-putting. If she's prowling, it might just be because she thinks she's stuck with a guy who isn't looking forward like she is.
Priority 1? Make arrangements so you can attend the wedding, then call her and tell her you managed to work it out so you can go. Tell her you're sorry, and that she means too much to you for you to miss something so important in her life. Hope she invites you over, or at least starts to get rid of the "space" she needs. If that doesn't solve it, you may be looking at cheating/prowling-related-etc.
Note: Just to add... i'm a very relationship-oriented guy, and if after 2 whole years of dating, my girl shrugged off attending some important family event like a wedding or similar, I would also question her intentions for the future. Two years should be long enough to know if you're in it for more than just hanging out and sex, to know if you're still there and looking forward to a longer-lasting bond.